... when they say they think they want to come back?
My question is why? Why now after H's long-time affair, his moving in with OW, and horrible divorce? He has been throwing around hints for a while that the grass isn't so much greener on the other side. It just seems bizarro that after torching our marriage he could possibly want to come back. I'm just plain and simple torn...
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
I guess that's the problem.. I'm not sure how I feel.
On the one hand, wouldn't we all love to have our families back and intact? On the other hand, how in the world do you ever forgive the hurt and pain that someone purposely inflicted upon you??
Do I tell him yes and then see if he will agree to my demands such as NO CONTACT with OW?
I've been up and down and all around all week and still have no idea what the right thing is...
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
SOunds like you are not ready to make a decision. Totally understandable. I would say if you are even willing to consider it, he is going to have to work his a$$ off to deserve a relationship with you!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
You are exactly, right.. I have to be 100% honest. He has said things before regarding wanting to reconcile but I have pretty much ignored what he was saying because I refused to be sucked in by his words. Funny thing was that I was still sucked in and ended up feeling bad anyway. Sooo.. this time, I'll listen to what he has to say and let him know what that means if he is serious. I think he'll probably get stuck on my first request - move out of ow's house!
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
... when they say they think they want to come back?
My question is why? Why now after H's long-time affair, his moving in with OW, and horrible divorce? He has been throwing around hints for a while that the grass isn't so much greener on the other side. It just seems bizarro that after torching our marriage he could possibly want to come back. I'm just plain and simple torn...
People screw up and make mistakes...bad ones...time and time again. Doesn't mean they can't change! Sometimes those mistakes don't have anything to do with the hurt spouse either, even though they were on the receiving end of some pretty bad treatment. He's still living in the OW house? Damn! I'd be cautious and take what he says with a grain of salt!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Sooo.. this time, I'll listen to what he has to say and let him know what that means if he is serious. I think he'll probably get stuck on my first request - move out of ow's house!
So is he living with OW and asking to reconcile with you? So if you sy no he stays with her? Wow, she must feel special! Yes, you need to insist that before you even consider it, he needs to be completely free of her.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Yes, antlers, people do screw up big time.. After months of intense therapy, he's realized a few things. It continues to amaze me, though, that a therapist wouldn't say "run like he!! away from that relationship which was built upon lies!
Suzy - He is still living w/OW and yes, wanting to see if we can possibly work things out and if not, seems like he's going to stay with her. I don't even get that way of thinking. I'm sure OW has NO idea that things aren't perfect in her little fantasy world.
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
