Starting a seperate thread for this one as it falls a bit out of the topic of my first thread. I hope this is the right section as Im still a newcomer.
Ok so I am going to Barnes and Noble as soon as I get out of work this evening to pick up Micheles books. My issue is the only place I have to read them is at home where my wife is going to see me reading them. What do I say to her? Will this push her away even more? Do I go hide in the basement with the dog and a flashlight to read them?
My first thought was to reply like this "Honey, I have let so many things slip by in the past 18 years. This is one thing I am not going to let slip by without at least trying to make an effort to change. If not just for us, for myself to continue on with my own life"
Help please
M:40 W:40 D: 21 S: 18 D: 17 Md: 18 years -1/19/2010 W wants out -6/03/10 "Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.."
I agree with PDT. I've been tempted to leave my books around the apartment or even ask my H to read or look through one or two of them. Take a break from being at home and go read at a local coffee shop or even at the bookstore. I've told my H that I've been reading a lot and have discovered and learned a lot of things about myself and that I plan to make some changes in the way I live my life, whether he is in my life or not. But I certainly didn't tell him that I picked up a book called "The Divorce Remedy" - I think that would have made him hit the road even faster.
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
I had the same problem - I just read the book after the kids went to bed and she was upstairs...i assume that she just thought i was watching TV like normal.
She did see the book, and i gave the answer "that i was working on myself kind of thing", one of them is reading more.
i did/do hide the book when i am not home - have to agree "the Divorce Remedy" title is a bit scary for others to see, also not the kind of title you just sit and read in public (many peering eyes)
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
that's true, too, gman...i ride public transportation to work every day and i admit i'm a bit embarassed to be holding up a book with huge all caps letters that read THE DIVORCE REMEDY while packed into a subway car like a sardine. i feel like people look at me funny. probably my imagination but still...
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
Go to a coffee shop. It'll achieve two things: first, it's part of GAL, and second, you'll read the book without her knowing.
Don't show it to her; it's yours alone.
Also, you could always do what my dad did: read in the bathroom. That's where he went to get some peace and privacy.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
My wife saw the site's page open on my labtop exactly one time during our journey. She asked what is this? I told her it was just a support group that I talk with, you have an IC I have this place, no big deal.
DO NOT EVER LET YOUR WAS KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE OR THE BOOKS. It comes across to them as manipulation.
