So I'm not new to DB. In fact I've been around here for some time now. Been separate over a year and I'm staring a D square in the face. Recently the topic of MLC sparked an interest. After reviewing the archives I can see why. My W is a perfect match and well studied on MLC for Dummys.
So now I'm going to commit one of the DB forums most deadly sins; duel posting. I have this question over on separated but really wanted some of you kind folks to chime in. .
So here's the question. My W and I had a conversation this morning and she mentioned something personal that she was doing today with her church. Saw her this afternoon and she starting telling me the same thing. Like we didn't have the conversation. This is not the first time this has happened.
Anyone else have something like this happen. Is this common with MLC or is this something else?
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
C-Bart, Yes, I have experienced this too but it is usually a lie that she is reinforcing to cover for her true nefarious activities.
I have been in the MLC archives all day as I have been home sick as a dog. I am considering coming over to MLC as well but don't want to abandon the friends I have made over in "separated". It seems to me that my W is definitely in MLC mode, I think at first it was WAS and then grew into something uglier.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
My understanding is there is not that much difference between WAS and MLC as far as what the LBS does. I know Grace has been here for three years and she says she is not sure if her H is one or the other.
Depression is present in both sichs. The childhood issues are part of MLC, certainly hormones are also part of the deal. There can be other forms of depression, such as bipolar or borderline. Ask more questions and read. It takes a while to absorb it all.
My H MLC has eaten up the memoroy in MY brain! The stress, anxiety, worry and "what if's" just hog up your memory card.
I can easily see where this happens on both sides of marriage issues, let alone MI with a MLC.
Sometimes I can't talk like I used to. I search for words and my mind brings up....not much. sigh I used to talk like a chatty cathy, but now I hardly speak.
No concept of time, no recall of conversations, unless it is something that serves his purpose and he can turn it around on me. Or someone else, but usually me.
It is the way that their minds work during this, for whatever reason.
Kickme, I too have found that my mind is not what it used to be and I don’t know that it is age. I need lists now. I need reminders. I cannot multitask well. I think it has to do with the amount of stress at the beginning of all of this and the brain decides that the only way to get things done, is to tackle it one thing at a time. It can be very frustrating.
But I also sort of like it. I have slowed down a bit. I am more focused on the task at hand and not worrying about what else there is to do.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
I also have had this experience..and boy would H get mad if you suggested you'd told him something and he forgot..he does tell me some things multiple times..and forgets appointments periodically..
Interesting Mark Twain quote I was forwarded yesterday.. "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
Very frustrating for them and for us! Maybe related to the MLC amnesia people describe when their spouses exit the tunnel and they don't remember alot of what they did or said during the MLC?
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
KJ- love that quote!! It is so true. My H also seems to have lost concept of time as well. And I would have to agree that my concentration is not as good as it has been, my memory is not quite as good. I know that mine is stress related and just the emotional exhaustion. I have been trying to search out a new job/possibly career path and I have thought about going back to school but really don't know if I have that level of concentration back yet.
