I understand that you love her. We all love our spouses.
This woman lives like a teenager. She loses her job due to criminal acts, drinks, gets dwi, gets thrown in jail, has her car impounded, has affair(s).
In your love for her, you enable her to do these things by wanting her back, allowing her back, and never holding her accountable for her actions.
There is a phrase called toxic love and I think you've got some of that going on.
Women respond to strength and confidence. Women reject men who, in their weakness, allow them to do whatever they want to do without consequences.
You need to do some serious thinking in my opinion. I suggest that, for a time at least, your wife may need to be allowed to be cast adrift. To be let go. And by let go, I mean let her do her thing and do NOT rescue her when she leads her life into another car wreck.
Before your marriage can be rebuilt, she has numerous personal issues that have to be confronted. Did she always have a problem with alcohol? Did this used to be something you did together? Or is her strange behavior new in the last couple years? You simply cannot repair marital problems when you have the added difficulties of an addiction bringing more crap into the situation.
Do some thinking.
And no need for you to change forums. You're fine right here.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Trully this is the time for you as an LBS to work on you. In some ways, this time is a gift. You can find yourself again and learn some confidence and strength.
Anything can happen, so do not expect anything from the WAW.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
