Well Wah called and said he would be here at noon tomorrow so we could go get some paint and tape off the rooms we are going to paint. He said he is too tired to work for long. I said "well why don't you try to get some sleep tonight so you are not so tired". He told me it doesn't matter how much sleep he gets he is still always tired. He seems to be getting more depressed the longer he is gone. I am confused if I was the cause of all his problems, shouldn't he feel better now that we barely have any contact with each other?
I am sure he is still in contact with OW but since she lives in the UK and it is 7 hrs later there, he should have plenty of time to sleep. Maybe all is not well in their relationship. Maybe he has figured out regardless of me, he can't afford to go see her when we divorce.
He asked me if I had gotten any of the dvd's and pictures boxed up. I told him I would do it tonight before I went out, didn't tell him where I was going. I didn't do it, I guess I will do it in the morning before he comes over.
I have felt better today than I have since he left. I realize I am not going to collapse or fall apart. I love him but I don't want him unless he wants to be here.
Well made it thru yesterday. No R talk just painting. I turned on the radio and we both just went to work. Here is where the craziness comes in, my MIL and FIL stopped by when we were painting as they have not seen him since this started. He did not look at them and didn't really talk to them. When they got up to leave his Mom hugged him and when his Dad went to say goodbye to him he wouldn't even look his way beecause he was crying. I am lost as to what this means. He later as he was leaving told me this has nothing to do with me. I just responded "I know". Later that evening my MIL called and told me she doesn't even recognize him, he must really be going thru something. I told her we can't help him unless he lets us. She is extremely upset and worried.
I wish I could figure out what is going on in WAH head. Is he feeling guilty, because he knows what he is doing is going to effect the whole family. Is he truly going thru something more serious such as a MLC. His parents are worried sick about him and I am wondering if this is a show to mask his guilt. If he is truly happy once he gets out of here and resumes contact with OW.
Yesterday He was putting away some stuff after painting and I went upstairs to clean up before going out with my sister. He knew I was going out he just didn't know with who. When he was leaving I told him to take care, he just looked at me and told me to have fun going out that he was going to get some beer and sit at home. He lives with his best friend who is the most levelheaded person I have ever met, but the BF was out of town with his GF. I asked him if he wanted to go out and watch football tomorrow, he just told me no he didn't feel like it.
I have had sadness and despair overcome me today. I have not heard from WAH but all sorts of things are running thru my head (he is happy to get rid of me, he finally can have ow without me in the picture). I know I haven't been in this very long but I already feel beat up and worthless.
I have applied for a ton of jobs with no real prospect at this point. I am worried about money, my future, and starting over from scratch. I feel horrible about myself and know I would feel better with a job and place to go everyday. I have cried every day since he left at some point.
I did make an appointment with my SIL for accupuncture and to get some herbs for stress. She is going to see me tomorrow. I just want my old husband to reappear, I miss his friendship and the fact that he used to care about me.
I know I can't do a thing about what he is doing now but I feel horrible. I will not reach out to him as I don't feel like being rejected by him on a daily basis is in my best interest.
I am having a bad day and just had a very emotional conversation with the WAH. I know this set me back but ever since I had the accupuncture I have been a emotional wreck. I need new tires and we really can't afford them.
I feel like he walked away and left me with ALL the responsibilities. He has 2 dogs that I am taking care of, including picking up all the dog crap. I now take care of the trash, and I also handle all the finances. He is busy strenghtening his relationship that was built on Lies, deceit, and selfishness.
He jumped into this fantasy world with this girl and I have been cast aside like yesterdays garbage. Sure she is great on the internet they don't have any responsibilties together. They have hurt me, my family, his family and some close friends because they think this is the love of their life.
He was sure to tell me that he is not in a relationship with anybody and he is hurt too, but he doesn't want to work on it. When I spoke to him he yelled at me like I was the sole cause of this and he is sick of me.
I didn't open any mail? I have no idea what you are talking about. The exchanges between them were on a public website. Next time you decide to make an assumption assume it is right.
I am new to this and was hoping for some support and a place to journal what I was feeling and going thru. Instead the first post I get in days is an A55 telling me I am breaking the law. Obviously this person did not read my whole post. I am jhust going to go back to journaling on paper and talking to my family. I have enough going on in my life I don't need this too. To the others on here that are working on their marriages, good luck.
