Need Help Fast Please..............

[Buffet]

I had a short thread about a month ago and although I tried hard my W was/is determined to get the big D. There is not much I can do about that.
However, today things have fallen apart and become a disaster/critical point---her father bust thru my door and threatened to kill me and that he knew people that would put me into the ground, called me boy and p***y and other things that go lower that that. I am amazingly surprised at how I handled this by not escalating this into a physical altercation and repeatedly told him that he needs to leave MY house, and I will not fight him, he kept trying to get me to fight him, finally I moved towards a phone and told him that I was calling the police. He than left and sped off all the while telling me that he was going to get me, etc, etc...
I did file a report and document this with the station just in case. I dont believe that he will do anything as he has always been all bark no bite but what else could/should I do? I am alot freaked out about this and am not sure how to proceed.
I have already called my lawyer but she is not in until Monday, called the Police and filed a report but am i missing something?
I have been threatened by my W more times than I can count with abandonment if I leave so my lawyer says to stay in the house at all costs if I can. W also threatens constantly to call the police and report a false abuse charge to get me removed from the house. At this point the D is filed and we are waiting on the paperwork to come back and she needs to re-finance the house into her name so that I can go get another loan--however she will not do that and says that she cannot afford to re-fianance...
I did call my W after her dad left and asked what this was all about and she said that he is justified in his actions because he(dad) is upset and that I do not respect him(wonder why!).
Please help...................

[Lotus]

You could get a restraining order against him. Why is he threatening you?

[TrentC]

I am amazingly surprised at how I handled this by not escalating this into a physical altercation and repeatedly told him that he needs to leave MY house, and I will not fight him, he kept trying to get me to fight him, finally I moved towards a phone and told him that I was calling the police. He than left and sped off all the while telling me that he was going to get me, etc, etc...
I did file a report and document this with the station just in case. I dont believe that he will do anything as he has always been all bark no bite but what else could/should I do? I am alot freaked out about this and am not sure how to proceed.

You did just fine. There's no reason to handle this in any other way than you did just because he's your FIL. (And why would you assume that he doesn't mean to harm you? He bashed in your freakin' door!)

I have already called my lawyer but she is not in until Monday, called the Police and filed a report but am i missing something?

Fix the door? Look into getting a TRO against your father in law? It doesn't make sense to me for your lawyer to advise you to stay in your house if it puts you at risk.

And there should be some way to reach your lawyer in case of emergency. I'd find out and contact her ASAP.

I have been threatened by my W more times than I can count with abandonment if I leave so my lawyer says to stay in the house at all costs if I can.

I'd be interested to see what your lawyer says after she hears about this.

W also threatens constantly to call the police and report a false abuse charge to get me removed from the house.

I'd document those threats. If you can get proof of her threatening to do that, it'll take the bite out of it when she does do it -- the police don't like people who file false reports.

At this point the D is filed and we are waiting on the paperwork to come back and she needs to re-finance the house into her name so that I can go get another loan--however she will not do that and says that she cannot afford to re-fianance...

Tough luck. She either refinances in her name, or you do whatever you have to do to sell the house. This will probably come up in the D proceedings; make sure your lawyer knows.

I did call my W after her dad left and asked what this was all about and she said that he is justified in his actions because he(dad) is upset and that I do not respect him(wonder why!).

Why on earth did you call your wife??? This is between you and your FIL. Of course she's going to take his side!

[Buffet]

he is threatening me because he wants me to leave the house I believe. My W has a very demented view of how a D should/will work. In her reality I should move out, her get our S2 the entire time, me write a big fat child support check to her and I should live in a 1 bedroom windowless apartment somewhere and be miserable and depressed and have a horrible life.
What she has found is that I will have my son 1/2 of the time just like her, and since we make the same $$ and will have him the same amount of time that no child support will be paid by either person to the other, and when she found out I was looking at houses she really blew her lid and said that I do not deserve to live in another house.
How that relates to her Dad is that she is telling him horrible lies about me (talked about in old thread--but she is threatening to call the police and file fake abuse charges to get me removed from house). He reacted like he always does which is look for a problem and try to start a fight and I would not engage him so he reacts that same way she does and that is to move to more crazy behavior.......

[TrentC]

he is threatening me because he wants me to leave the house I believe.

Definitely get the police involved, then. If it YOUR house, and his opinion doesn't count for jack squat in this.

My W has a very demented view of how a D should/will work. In her reality I should move out, her get our S2 the entire time, me write a big fat child support check to her and I should live in a 1 bedroom windowless apartment somewhere and be miserable and depressed and have a horrible life.

Ah yes, the rainbow-colored world of the WAS... where their lives magically become better once you are out of the picture.

What she has found is that I will have my son 1/2 of the time just like her, and since we make the same $$ and will have him the same amount of time that no child support will be paid by either person to the other, and when she found out I was looking at houses she really blew her lid and said that I do not deserve to live in another house.

That's not deserving of an answer. Hope you didn't take the bait. Better yet: next time, point out that such resentment and jealousy is very unattractive and sad.

How that relates to her Dad is that she is telling him horrible lies about me (talked about in old thread--but she is threatening to call the police and file fake abuse charges to get me removed from house).

Again, document the hell out of this. How about keeping your cellphone on you; when she starts up with the "I'm going to accuse you of abuse" nonsense, speed-dial 911. Same with the "If you leave, I'm going to accuse you of abandonment" nonsense; she doesn't get it both ways!

She is acting extremely childish, spoiled, and entitled like crazy. If you are going to D, you need to start setting the record straight.

Any discussion of the D should be referred to your lawyer. Any threats should definitely go to your lawyer. Get a TRO against your FIL as soon as possible.

[Buffet]

Trent--thank you. You have always been a helping hand even in my old thread. I am beyond stunned that this is what my "current" life has become. I cannot think I am so mad, angry, upset, and hurt by this entire situation and than something like this happens on top of things I need some closure and space in this ASAP.
My W just walked into the house and started in on me that her dad was justified and that I am a horrible person and that she is his daughter so what did I expect to happen?
Umm, Hmm, well not to bust thru a door and threaten to put someone into the ground for starters. Not to spread lies and act like a 6 year old that is not getting Ice Cream for dinner. How's that for a start?
I am just shocked, I feel like a million bombs have exploded all over every part of my life and I do not know how to move on from this

[TrentC]

My W just walked into the house and started in on me that her dad was justified and that I am a horrible person and that she is his daughter so what did I expect to happen?
Umm, Hmm, well not to bust thru a door and threaten to put someone into the ground for starters. Not to spread lies and act like a 6 year old that is not getting Ice Cream for dinner. How's that for a start?

If she starts in on that again, leave. Find somewhere else to be for a while. Take the kids to get dinner or something.

Don't take the "horrible person" stuff personally. I don't remember the details of your situation, but she is trying to justify to herself and everyone else her decision to leave.

Does she have any specific complaints about you? If so, how justified are they?

[Buffet]

I am not perfect, I could have shown more attention, told her I loved her more, listened better, etc..
Maybe I am being stubborn but I did not do any major thing to cause this, we faced what in my opinion are "normal issues" for most any young couple that both works and starts a family. None of these things are reasons to leave a marriage. For sure not one where less than 6 months ago there was talk of another baby and everything was great and what a wonderful future we had....??
Horrible person? I don't think so. Flawed person--yes, not a perfect husband, check but a horrible, narcissistic monster? Not even close. W is a very confused and emotionally unstable and immature person. Her choices are her choices the best I can do is get out of here and be the best most stable rock of a dad that I can be. I sound stronger here than I feel though. This constant bombardment of bs has to stop from her

[Gardener]

ytjuy,

I had a short thread about a month ago and although I tried hard my W was/is determined to get the big D. There is not much I can do about that.
However, today things have fallen apart and become a disaster/critical point---her father bust thru my door and threatened to kill me and that he knew people that would put me into the ground. Press charges. Seriously. called me boy and p***y and other things that go lower that that. I am amazingly surprised at how I handled this by not escalating this into a physical altercation and repeatedly told him that he needs to leave MY house, Damn straight! and I will not fight him, he kept trying to get me to fight him, Good for you. Boy did you display strength and courage.finally I moved towards a phone and told him that I was calling the police. You should have called then and there. Name, address, car make/model. plate number, direction he sped off in, etc.He than left and sped off all the while telling me that he was going to get me, etc, etc...
I did file a report and document this with the station just in case. I dont believe that he will do anything as he has always been all bark no bite All Bark and no bite does not break down a door and threaten lives. Screw the restraining order. Press charges.but what else could/should I do? I am alot freaked out about this and am not sure how to proceed. Cooly, bravely, no-holds barred.
I have already called my lawyer but she is not in until Monday, called the Police and filed a report but am i missing something? Again, press breaking- and-entering charges and violent threat of bodily harm charges (or its equivalent). Fight back. Hard. This is Bullsh!t. And dangerous. And your "castle"
I have been threatened by my W more times than I can count with Get a small digital audio recorder. Small, inexpensive. If you get nailed for one-party-permission recording it will be a small price to pay for the evidence you'll have amassed. Do not leave your house. W also threatens constantly to call the police and report a false abuse charge to get me removed from the house. Record that, too. Do you have a close friend you can call to come witness such non-occurances when she threatens to report them?At this point the D is filed and we are waiting on the paperwork to come back and she needs to re-finance the house into her name so that I can go get another loan--however she will not do that and says that she cannot afford to re-fianance...Well, now, ain't that too bad.Not your problem.
I did call my W after her dad left and asked what this was all about Why? Why bother to voluntarily open yourself up to spewing?and she said that he is justified in his actions because he(dad) is upset and that I do not respect him(wonder why!).
Please help...................

Also, tell lawyer you need the means to reach him at a moment's notice. Also tell him to prepare and file whatever he has to to force FIL to pay for door damages
Hardball, ytjuy, Hardball

[DDogs]

I went to best buy several years ago and bought a pocket digital recorder.. for $60

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Olympus+-+Di...p;cp=1&lp=1

You can download a boatload of stuff, save it to your computer and reuse it,,, it's small and fits very nicely in your pocket. I'd always have it on me and practice turning it on while in my pocket. I successfully used it before. If you engage the W in conversation about her filing a false charge to get you out, you will have proof she's a scammer...