I seriously doubt the wife cares about anythig sexual right now but I have been wanting her so bad. Obviously that's not in the cards right now, if ever, but I really need some relief and I would never cheat on her.
My question is this, I want to mastubate but I feel guilty if I do. Is that odd, normal, what?????
I want to but, all I'll do is think about her and that's not going to help things. Porn would help but I'm stopping that so....... I don't know, I feel like a looser.
My question is this, I want to mastubate but I feel guilty if I do. Is that odd, normal, what?????
It's odd that at your age that it is even a question. I know that as Americans we have all sorts of sexual hangups, but unless you've lived an extremly sexually repressed life, this is not the sort of question that I would expect from a grown adult. Maybe someone half your age that is questioning all the rules of ones parents and the socialization with and by your elders and peers.
For example, if you imagined yourself with your wife even though she is unavailable, would you still feel "guilty?" After all, she is still your wife, you still love her and still want her. So, would imagining yourself being pleased by her something worthy of all the effort for guilt? I think not.
And if she was a willing partner you'd be pleasuring yourself in the act with her, right? So, what is there to feel guilty about, especailly if you were wishing you were with her? What's going to happen to you when you have your first intensively erotic dream about her? It's going to happen, you can count on it.
Masturbate or masturbate not. Choose and accept the choice you've made as an adult.
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
Unless you have some specific reason why masturbation would be harmful, I think it would be useful for you to push through this reluctance and just do it. That advice is worth every penny you paid for it.
I'm female so my take on it may be quite different. When I finally separated I was very horny, but MBing just made me cry. So I stopped, for a while, then I started again and now it's different. It is an exploration of my own value to myself.
As well as fun ;-)
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
I'm male, but I sort of agree with haphazard - whereas my R problems have been ongoing for a very VERY long time, and MB has been pretty much my only outlet for decades (yes, Decades), there have been times when I just didn't feel like it. Sometimes that was for an extended time. I just don't worry when that happens - it means my desire is low for some reason, usually mild depression, but it always comes back. Sounds like, in your current sitch, MB makes you uncomfortable, so do it if you want, don't if you don't, but don't feel like a loser about it. Nature will give you nice dreams eventually anyway...
Nature will give you nice dreams eventually anyway...
This whole thread is hard for me to get my head around. Anyway - I know that nocturnal emissions are fairly common for men. Do women also have semi-conscious orgasms? thanks...
Met/Sex: 3/93, married 2000 HD ME: 38 (Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon) LD HE: 37 (Cancer Sun & Moon) DD: 8.5, DS: 7 Intimate 2x/lunar cycle before cutting self off in attempt to change behavior pattern
Men should have sexual release, one way or the other, at least 20 times a month, for health reasons. Studies have shown that men who maintain this level of frequency have the lowest rates of prostate cancer.
By this measure, I'm in the lowest risk group as it relates to frequency of sex.
So, it could be said that it's harmful not to MB if you aren't having frequent sex. The frequency quoted as the "norm" for married couples is NOT sufficient to put you in the lowest risk group for prostate cancer.
