Just wanted to let you guys who were giving me advice that I have been doing very well the past couple days. Did not contact W at all, sometimes didn't even answer her calls. Today I did and she says "don't you ever answer your phone!" because she is used to me being on top of it when she calls. She let me know she was having a really bad day, feels like she is losing it. School is rough, job is rough, life is rough..."she's a basket case these days" in her words. Funny thing is...past few days I have not even thought about W much. Went to bed last night without wondering why she has not called or when she was going to. When she woke me up at 12:30am with a call I told her I was sleeping and will talk to her tomorrow. I think I am FINALLY starting to get this.
Setting my first counseling appt tomorrow after work. Will talk to wife if she calls but not everytime, will not contact her. Hell I can see that it made a difference in just two days. And here is the funny thing...before I would be looking that it made a difference in HER. This time I can see the difference in ME and I like it.
Hello. I just wanted to update everyone on my situation, not sure if any of you remember me and I haven't been on here for a long time, but I figured this would help with my closure.
My wife and I signed the divorce papers yesterday. After over a year of being separated. She ended up getting pregnant to her ex-boyfriend whom several people on here told me she was cheating with, but I refused to believe it. So note to all you newbies on here...listen to these people. They know what they are saying. I was stupid and would have never believed she would be cheating, but guess what---she is due in Jan!!!
Good news out of that front, at least to make me feel better, is they are not working out. Looks like she will be a single mother.
Maybe if I would have took the advice most gave me on here, such as detachment, leaving her alone, etc...it could have turned out diff. But I went against what everyone said and tried to get her back constantly. So if you are doing that STOP NOW. Unless you want to end up like me.
Good news is, we have talked a lot and apologized a lot and we don't hate each other. So its not all bad. She even wants to "remain friends" although that is probably never going to work.
EDITED - This forum exists to help those who come looking for encouragement and support during a difficult time in their lives. Your ideas and suggestions are welcome. However, you must treat everyone with respect, refraining from rudeness -even if or when you may not agree with what they are saying or doing in their lives. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
EDITED - This forum exists to help those who come looking for encouragement and support during a difficult time in their lives. Your ideas and suggestions are welcome. However, you must treat everyone with respect, refraining from rudeness -even if or when you may not agree with what they are saying or doing in their lives. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
She calls and talks to me all the time, shes in a bad place right now and I just feel like I should be the one to help her...I don't know why. Because I still love her. I know I shouldn't, but I do.
I don't even know if she would ever want me again, but she says things that makes me think maybe she will.
Yes you should, Bobby. That's what love does. You're not hopeless...you are hopeful. And our purpose here is to help each other find the way to their miracles....not bash it.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
