DW, Sounds good let me know how to find you on FB.
Lotus, W was going to call the Retro coordinators today. Not sure if she did. Giving her space at this point. Plus this is the free weekend I've had in a long time. Trying not to think about anything but guitars and house work.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
No word on Retro yet. Other than that things are good. She's back to using the kids as a method to maintain communication between us. This may be a mistake but I'm not sure what else to do here. I'm not initiating contact with her but yet we seem to talk several times a day.
I'm going to give her till the end of the week before the Retro issue is discussed. Don't want to push her back in the cave. Acting as if we are going until she says otherwise.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Hey C-Bart, I just got caught up on your sitch. You have been at this a while and sounds like you are definitely in limbo but with some positives IMO. My sitch is very similar in that I have my kids 27/7. My W only has a room that she rents. No place for the kids to sleep. Sounds like you have a similar sitch where your W is not so interested in the kids.
I will pray that your W still goes to Retro, this could be the thing that gets her unstuck. I like going with the assumption that she is going and make the arrangements for the kids, tarvel etc. As far as treating her friendly and not initiating contact I would say stick to it. I wish my wife called and texted as much as yours but I know that jsut keeps your W stuck where she is at.
Have you read some of the MLC resource threads specifically Hearts Blessing? Also, I am sure you are aware of poster Jack_Three_Beans. He was successful with a friendly patient approach but did so from the very beginning.
I also did the same thing as you and tried to "drop the rope" a couple of weeks ago and tell her it is over, while I have not told my W anything otherwise, I have been friendly with her otherwise. Each sitch is different and I agree your W has to be attracted to you and that requires the distance but at the same time I feel we have to be the lighthouse so they can find their way back to us in the storm that they have created.
It is also, confusing to us as what to do, I do remember reading in DR that if one particular approach is not working and nothing changes after a while then try a different approach. I read a great interaction that JTB had with his W in his sitch from back in 2006 that I copied. I can send it to you via alt universe later tonight if interested.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
MHL, Thanks for posting here. I took your advice and headed over to the MLC forum and read JTB's posts. I'm hoping to get the chance to have some of those conversations with my W before its to late. The next two weeks are going to be very telling.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Here's a question to you all. My W and I had a conversation this morning and she mentioned something personal that she was doing today with her church. Saw her this afternoon and she starting telling me the same thing. Like we didn't have the conversation. This is not the first time this has happened.
Anyone else have something like this happen. I have several theories, none of them good.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
