new chapter

[Jstar]

I started a new thread before old one gets locked and to also say goodbye to my older posts.

i'm starting new today. as much as it hurts i have had to let go of the thought of reconciling with h. i look at what interactions we have had and there has been no difference in his actions towards me.

i guess i just have become a walk away spouse rather then being left behind.

i can no longer deal with empty words from h and all his i can'ts. i deserve to be happy and have peace without feeling i am being played with. all his priorities are is his job, a cab driver being paid under the table, him explaining how happy it makes him to earn money and that is his focus.

there will not be him balancing his work an family, he does not know how nor does he want to. it's let me chase the money and you guys just wait around put your lives on hold while i work.

thing is i've seen to been able to work and remain committed to my children but no longer to my marraige. if that makes me weak or not having patience, then so be it.

my being dark in nov and dec have me the chance to be free from him and piece my and d2 life together without him. i've reached the point where i can not try anymore and have to save me and the kids. we deserve so much better.

[ClingingToHope]

I will be joining you tomorrow in a new thread with a new focus. I hope you have a good New Year and remember that 2010 has a chance to be your best year ever.