Very important point about what soleil said, calm a cool. Nice but firm. Be the picture of strength.
Burt
Im going to make a prediction, in 24 hours you will still be collecting yourself. This has been your problem, you do not like to face your fears. And yes this is a challenge. Everyone has fears, let your wife see courage, which is you acting despite the fears you have.
Sorry i am feeling low again , i said i would phone and speak to the kids and spent around 5 mins with each .
I then asked to speak to wife and she asked when i would see the kids next . I said tommorow straight after work . She then stated " i hope you know there is no chance " "just no" you need to see a L and you do know there is no chance ?" i said you have been very consistant in what you have been saying .
Again i have pain , i still plan on going home though , and hope this show of strength has some effect.
me 37 w 37 s8 d6 bomb 09/21/09 IDLY I move out 10/04/09
Why not create some sort of set custody schedule so you and your W don't have to ask each other about plans with the children?
Tell her to see an attny and file and sit and wait while you decide what sort of settlement you will be seeking from her. I am so tired of the WAS demanding the LBS see an attny. You want out then find the money, get an attny and follow through. And no, we won't be "working together" or "dividing stuff" on our own. If you were not included in the decision to END the marriage then then DO NO MORE to further take it apart.
I would have responded: W, you have told met his already and I heard you just fine. Constantly repeating yourself to me is nagging and I won't tolerate it anymore. If your desire is to end this marriage then do as you must and so will I.
You really need to be looking for solutions to things that don't have to be ongoing problems or topics of conversation with your W.
When are you going to stand up for yourself and start making decisions for yourself, do you not think she is controlling you?
You back in the house yet? Let me guess, you are too hurt right now, really down because she said those mean things to you again. Time to make a move, or is this staying out of the house working for you? Doesn't sound like it.
Yes i have let her control me , but i was sacrificing me not living at home in the hope of saving my M . money and possesions don't count for anything to me without my family ....i was always worried that moving back in would destroy any chance of recon. I have been watching DDOGS posting and have seen he is happy but have seen the atty situation escalate.
me 37 w 37 s8 d6 bomb 09/21/09 IDLY I move out 10/04/09
Left work early today . gonna take a shower then take the stuff i have ready and go BACK HOME . Crazy Bat Sh!t deflectors at the ready . Which me luck !! There for the grace of God go I.
me 37 w 37 s8 d6 bomb 09/21/09 IDLY I move out 10/04/09
Use the force! Seriously, good luck, be in a good mood, short to the point answers and do not be yelled at or be called names, just say, "I will not be spoken to that way, if you would like to have a discussion in a civil manner I am all for it, however until then, this one is over." Then walk away.
I have chosen to come back to My house. I am sorry this upsets you, but this is best for me and my children.
Go through the scenarios, be ready for everything. Calm, cool, attractive man you are. Burt
