It has been a few months since I've posted over in Hopefulness on a regular basis. But with W having moved out over three months ago and me needing to do the same in order to sell our house, I think it's time to set up some new DB digs as well.
To get to my previous threads, feel free to click on these:
Except for a couple of items on our finances, the sep. agreement is very much in place even though it hasn't been signed yet. W right not has our two kids (D 15 and S 10) until school starts up again - except for New Year's Eve when I'll be taking them for a long standing overnight party with another family who have been close friends for nearly 20 years now.
I'll post more later but this should get everyone up to speed...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Well the rest and relaxation of the holidays is at an end. For at least the past ten years, we (meaning W, the kids and I) would spend New Year's Eve with another family near where we live and camp out overnight since they had kids as well and none of us would need to tempt fate by driving after midnight. Last year was the first year that W did not attend. This year W was supposed to have the kids but they really wanted to keep the tradition going so I took them over after I got done with work.
There were a few more adults there this year since the kids really don't need constant supervision. Everyone had a great time. Some of us imbibed too much but we didn't have to drive anywhere.
Right now the kids are with W finishing out the holiday schedule before we get back to our regular parenting schedule (W has them overnights Monday and Tuesday, I have them overnights Wednesday and Thursday and we alternate weekends). Knowing that I need to move out soon so we can get the house ready to put on the market, W e-mailed me some rental property links she dug up - something she offered to do a couple of months ago but was too busy to dedicate the time. I'll merge this list with some others I got wind of and start making some phone calls this week.
Except for the two hours W was over here for Christmas plus the very brief visit dropping the kids off on New Year's Day, there has been essentially zero contact with her. Except for the kids, I have pretty well gone dark - something that I really needed to do as I get ready for this next phase of my life. I'm looking forward to my IC session tomorrow to wrap my arms around this. I don't know whether to take any stock in this, but the year ahead forecast from Jonathan Cainer sounds promising:
Quote:
In 2010, Saturn will return to Virgo and repeat the opposition to Uranus that made life so difficult last year. This time, though, it will bring a change you have been hoping to see for a long time. For quite some while you have been tantalisingly close to a big opportunity. Each time you get near to it, though, you have to retreat. You're even beginning to think you may be banging your head against a brick wall and that you ought to give up. Really, though, giving up is not an option for you. This year you will revisit something that has foxed you in the past - and this time, you will beat it. What needs to happen, yet has never quite properly happened, will happen. The upshot will be a year that gets more rewarding, comforting and enjoyable with each day. Confirmation on this comes partly from the extraordinarily long time that Mercury, the ruler of your sign, will spend in Virgo between July and October. This will greatly support your endeavour to make sense of all that has confused and complicated your situation in the past. This opportunity arises so soon after your great Saturn-Uranus breakthrough that we have to see it as more than coincidence. You are coming into a great time of strength, where you get to sort out all that has been messy and difficult and to turn it into something ordered and rewarding. In your personal and emotional life, you'll see how you can deepen the most important bonds in a way that brings much greater warmth and connection. Surprisingly early in the year, you'll start to feel far better about who you are and where you are going. And that sense of improvement will stay with you all year long.
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
First session of the year with IC went pretty well. Asked about the holidays and my mood at having things split the way they are. I told IC that naturally I was a bit sad about it but I also realized that there was nothing I could do about it so I was determined to have a few good days alone - which I did. I know the dogs were very happy about the extra time I lavished on them.
During the session IC asked point blank if I felt that W was seeing someone else now. I replied that I did not know and quite frankly that I did not want to know as long as the kids were not affected by it. There is wording in the SA that says that neither W or I would have overnight guests of the opposite sex if the kids were present. I also know that W and I met and were intimate while she was separated from H #2. But I can only control what I do - which is the way it should be.
To be fair, IC also asked if I was looking elsewhere. To this point I have not and have very closely guarded my heart for the better part of eight years now. I wonder if it is time to not guard my heart that closely - to let things happen naturally and own those actions...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Wow - didn't realize that I haven't posted for over a month.
Anyway - things are beginning to move. W is cashing in some of her 401K as I had to do nearly five years ago. I will be signing a lease agreement on a rental place so that we put the house on the market.
A jumble of emotions right now but I hope to post some more this weekend...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
