I need help in how to go about exposing my W's affair with OM. They both work at same location on different floors. What are pros and cons? How do I approach this. Would like to do it asap, as wife return to work on Wednesday. Any help would be grreatly appreciated. I am currently dark with her, first week.
Write a letter to the personnel / human resources outlining what is going on. Stick to the facts and don't make it vindictive. Post it here so we can offer you advice on it.
Many workplaces have policies in place about office romances.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
Here is a sample letter of my letter. Please critique carefully as I want to encourage immediate action from their employers.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you today under a very embarrassing situation that demands I make you aware of. My wife of 25 years, XX, is involved in an emotional and physical affair with YY. This affair started, developed, and continues at your place of business. It has been going on to the best of my knowledge for 45 days based on phone records.
This has caused tremendous stress and damaged in my home and has created serious conflict between my wife and our adult sons. Because of the nature of my wife's job, she is a ZZ with your company, I am sure her emotional well being is of critical success to her performance on the job. She has been employed with your company for 5 years.
I do not know the rules at your company concerning something of this nature, but I feel certain it is frown upon as this certainly affects the performance of two of your employees.
I have no idea how you will address this situation, but I am confident you will take steps to protect your company as well as the employees that work for you.
I have considered approaching YY at the job site to resolve this my way, but thought this route would be a better way for now.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. If you would like to contact me, you can at 123-456-7890.
Puppy, I agree with that, just thought it might give some urgency to the situation. One more question, what impact do you think this will have since wife has already moved into her own place. She can continue to see OM.
In my sitch, I called OW's boss and let her know about their A, but she told me everyone in the dept already knew for a while! I also let her know that WAH and OW were plotting against her to have her fired. This is very true!!! This is how OW got close with my WAH by asking for help with her "mean" boss and since my WAH is a senior manager, he could help her. She told me there was nothing she could do about their A.
Well, somehow OW was transferred to another building on a special project.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10
What are you expecting their employers to do.....fire them? If they are worth their salt, the employer "might" give them a slap on their wrists, but do you really think they will lose their jobs? All your W has to do is tell her boss that the two of you are S and she is going to file for a D. Maybe it is different where you live, but I haven't seen too many places where they cared what the employees did after hours. Now if you could prove they played around while on company time....that may get the boss's attention. But just b/c you tattled on them, doesn't mean the boss is going to give attention at all to it.
I know it's probably just my POV, but unless the LBH can offer something more than this, then why would the boss do what the H wanted.....and lose what might be two good workers? (The boss doesn't care that there has been conflict between your W and adult sons.) The only thing the boss is going to be interested in...is how does it effect business?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Guys, the fight to save my marriage, my have just been sucked out of me as my W had me served with a restraining order, on my job. I have never been more humilated in my life. I don't think I can go on. I truly don't know this woman any more. I would assume she probably went ahead and file for divorce also. I don't see how I can overcome this.
Thank you for all the support and encouragement. I don't see any need to continue to participate in this site. Thanks again
Guys, the fight to save my marriage, my have just been sucked out of me as my W had me served with a restraining order, on my job. I have never been more humilated in my life. I don't think I can go on. I truly don't know this woman any more. I would assume she probably went ahead and file for divorce also. I don't see how I can overcome this.
Thank you for all the support and encouragement. I don't see any need to continue to participate in this site. Thanks again
Why did you get the order? What have you done?
You don't know if she has filed for D.
You still have options. My advice is to post in Newcomers as you will get a lot more replies from the vets than in here.
Don't give up.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
