My H is in a Ph.D program at MSU. We have become close friends with a couple. I know he has seen them once since he left and that they know.
Today I received an email from her wondering how I was and that she missed me and would like to get together for coffee.
I know my H is depressed and it is taking a toll on his school work. I am wondering if other people in the program are seeing it too and that is why she wants to talk to me or if it is just truly a friendship "how are you doing" meeting.
Thoughts. How do you deal with friends that you both shared?
M - 41 WAH - 41 D - 20 M-21 years T-24 years Separated - Nov 6, 2009
Friends you both share. You meet up and GAL and enjoy your time with your friend. If they bring up the relationship. Just thank them for their concern as true friends are concerned. Just remember that what you say that night most likely will make it back to your hubby in some shape or form. So dress nice, be happy and enjoy your coffee.
I sure wouldn't force them to take sides and would avoid talking about the R with them. I would just try to enjoy them without bringing them into the situation. If they ask, thank them for their concern and say as little as you feel like you can get away with without being rude. On the other hand, if your H is confiding in them and they want your side of the story, it sure would be tempting to fill them in. Honestly, I don't know. I guess it partly depends on how close you are with these friends.
