I don't know. I wish I had better than that to tell you, but you seem like you need an answer from someone. I haven't read the book you're looking at (The Divorce Remedy? Is that right?) because I have a different problem to solve.
I can tell you that reading the Sex-Starved Marriage saved me and my marriage. I was floundering and dying until I read it and came here. It can't hurt to read the thing, and then you decide whether you want to try to use it or not. If you don't, you haven't lost anything. You read like you're being crushed by pain, so why not try something?
silly... i AM crushed by pain...i am confused, hurt angry...all of it at once! i have an ok hold on the mlc thing...i honestly dont know where to go or what to do.
i feel more like i am fighting for our 2 little ones than myself right now. h is a GREAT father! h too but i am focused on them at the moment...it all changes so quickly my head spins! thanks for your response! i am crying out and i feel as if i really dont know for what!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
I responded to another thread where you were talking about your situation in more detail . . . keep doing that. The book helped me, especially in breaking down my wife's resistance to doing anything (if she hadn't read SSM with me, she would still be convinced that I'm a pervert and we might honestly be filing for divorce by now) but the forum here was much more important to me personally and still is.
Be as honest as you can here and go into detail. If you feel like everyone's against you and no one understands, go ahead and defend yourself, but remember that they're not really against you. And never forget that everyone here is just someone who has similar problems to yours in some way, or someone who has been helped. None of them are therapists and no one who works for Davis or any of her companies seems to post here . . . ever. They're just offering advice because they think it will help you--and because working through your problems helps them work through theirs. They can't force you to do anything and they wouldn't try, so their advice is not threatening. If it makes no sense at all for you, you just decide not to use it.
BUT . . . and it's a big but . . . they've felt some version of the pain you're feeling. They're not going to dismiss your feelings or tell you that what you want isn't important. They're not going to tell you to suck it up and endure no matter what. They're also not going to tell you to cut your losses and divorce him because men are pigs and there's nothing you can do. People here want what you want.
hang in there i think my wife is in mlc also but that doesn't seem the provide any comfort so i know a little about what you might be going through. i am 42 wife 43 3 kids son 19 daughter 13 daughter 18 married son-n-law 19 2 little boys 18 months and 6 months. all live with me except wife who in 2008 moved away from me and had an affair which lasted 5 months the affair stopped because she went to jail and the other guy went back to his wife. my wife got out of jail lived with us until 3 months ago when she moved out by herself. dismisses what she has done and blames me for alot of stuff throught our 21 years of marriage. i am in pain can't sleep half of the time have read books on relationships, body language, divorce busting, divorce rememdy, i think want it just boils down to is she doesn't want to work on anything and hasn't tried for a long time. plus her drinking doesn't help. until she disides not to continue down this path the only thing i can do is wait and hope or divorce and move on. please read take care of yourself and kids and give yourself time to process all of this.
lost1234, I'm so sorry for your pain. I am going through the same thing. I have read the books, both DB & DR, and have tried with several failed attempts to follow the 180 and LRT. I've really only succeeded at them for the last 2 days. However, from what I've read and researched, it can work. In addition, everyone says if it doesn't, you'll feel better about yourself. It's still so new for me, that I'm really doing it mostly for the chance it will bring H back.
Together 16 years Married 12 years D9 & S6 Seperated 12/3/09
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
