h was here all day yesterday...kids were excited as usual but surprisingly went about their own things with xmas games and all...
h made a comment and I simply stated, well its your presence that they need, I dont think they are gonna be on top of you the whole time you are around. they are happy you are "home", but busy with their own little things...
kinda felt bad but what does he expect?
i did my own thing for about an hour and a half...he sat in front of the tv.
after my phone calls, shower and getting dinner going i sat and watched a movie with him. Rendition, it was a pretty good one so nothing gained nothing lost...
he was talking of spending more time here...for the kids on a more regular basis...i said that would be good for them.
ya know...we have an extra bedroom. I had mentioned it months ago and he simply states that he "cant"
im not sure as to what that meant, or means.
even if the 2 of us moved slowly or sometimes hardly at all, it would be better for the girls to atleast see him daily again. with the weather now it sometimes hinders that...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
It's good your H is bringing up time with children. You might want to work out a visitation schedule. It is much better to have structure. Would free up some time for yourself.
is this the anger depression mlc...all of his crap?
yes it's CRAP!
Quote:
WHY if all someone wants is a divorce...away from you or whatever words they choose, do the do EVERYTHING for you?
Because they are still human and they feel guilty. This is a way for them to tell themselves that they are doing the right thing. They can seem to others that they are doing the right thing. What a guy!
They play this way because they can. And they will continue to do so as long as YOU let them. He will play on your goodness and emotions. He'll suck up every ounce of sympathy he can. He won't file for D because that will end this game. Then he'll have to face this bed he's made.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
oh how true that is...guess thats why they need to make "NEW" friends...so the avoid hearing what jerks the are from those who have been with them through the years!
you advice is great! makes so much sense...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
if anyone is out there...please give me a pick me up!
today was my nephews 3rd b-day...i want with the girls alone, really tried to have fun...which i truly did! great food, friends and family!
actually went early and hung out until like 10 hrs later...
i dont want pity..ya know what though? all of this no contact and gal hurts like hell...
im doing it , and surviving but when i get home, i MISS my husband!, my partner. i feel like he should be a part of some things that go on...he was invited but chose not to come...his loss i know it sucks that i am hurting though!
he actually has been in bed now for over 24 hrs...no he isnt sick...he just wants to relax...i am concerned...it seems the depression is worsening.he doesnt give a crap about anything...work,himself, me kids, marriage...scary. his sister even went and checked on him out of her own concern...
our kids are good. im sure they miss his presence but he is here alot and that has been when i either go do something trivial or find something to keep me busy until he leaves.
maybe i do want something, not sure what it is except my normal day to day.
any suggestions or input would be great! thanks
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
