Well today it ended. The divorce was not busted. The judge asked "you guys get along so well are you sure you want a divorce?" I said "it is important to her." No tears from her, no goodbye, no thanks for everything, nothing.
It sucks. I am not sure what I could have done differant. I was commited to divorce busting. I followed my DB counslers advice and read everthing I could get my hands on.
Sometimes there is really nothing else you can do. My wife is gone. My family will never be the same. I am going to move on with my life feeling like I did what I could do.
It is very strange for 13 years, never did one day pass where we did not hug and hold hands. Everyday we showed each other how much we cared. We did it. We really had it, true love. Then one day she wakes up and thinks, I want something differant. This is pretty much how we both see it. She is not sure what it is but she is sure that she is going to go out and find it.
She and I are doing 50/50 custody of our daughter. She lowered the child support to nearly nothing. She really did not take a thing from the house and walked away with out a dime.
Good luck to everyone else.
Me 33 WOW 31 Married 12 years 4 YOD 1 YOD(adoption process) Bomb & moved out 4/01/09 Divorced 12/17/09
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well you know what they say, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". Unfortunately no matter how hard you try to save a marriage, if the other person's heart (or head) is not in it, your success rate is going to be next to nil.
Besides as what is commonly pointed out on these boards, the dual role of DB'ing is also making YOU a better person. Of course the hope is that the WAS will recognize this and decide to give the marriage another shot. But if they don't then you walk away knowing you did everything you could, and you walk away a better person for you and the next significant other that walks into your life.
I'm sorry you didn't get the ending you wanted. Best of luck to you.
