I need help please

[bestraongforyou]

newmama, it would be a few hours a day at the start only but would change quickly into full-time - 6 months for the moment but with a chance of permanent. It would be great to get it.

[P17]

Can I ask you what you think about the text messages story?

This one:

He went to the pub with a mate of his and the mate's phone's battery went dead -

It is so laughable that it could be true ... but IMO, it's BS. This bit proves it to me:

Husband gets really mad, storms upstairs and starts packing his suitcase and threatens to leave the wife. She pleads and beggs and cries and he finally stops packing and stays.

That's guilt packing those cases - 'believe me or I leave' - no sensible person does that.

Easy way to prove it ... follow the path. Speak to the guy who apparently texted them, if he confirms it's true then speak to the girlfriend he texted and so on.

Another way to prove it - see H's phone bill. If it's on his plan that he texted those numbers then it was from HIS SIM and not his friends.

If I were in that 'story' I would have said 'H can I borrow your phone, mines went dead - can I call my GF and let her know my battery has died and I'll see her later'. Or I'd have called from the pub (they have payphones usually). Why text her? Makes no sense.

What does your gut say?

[bestraongforyou]

my gut tells me it's BS

[P17]

my gut tells me it's BS

My gut hasn't let me down yet. I follow it now. I would suggest you follow yours.

If it looks like an elephant and sounds like and elephant, it's probably an elephant ... even if it's wearing dark glasses and an overcoat, it's still an elephant.

[bestraongforyou]

P17, I am working on getting hold of those phone bills - yesterday night I went through a pile of his paperwork - all his bills always went to his parents house until we bought our own in 2007 - no phone bills and all bank statements Feb - Oct 2004 missing - all the other ones are there - no exception(2000-2009)
I will go to the bank to see if I can get a copy. I don't think there will be anything funny on it but it will show me the money he paid for his mobile those months.

[P17]

I will go to the bank to see if I can get a copy. I don't think there will be anything funny on it but it will show me the money he paid for his mobile those months.

I must have missed something ... when did this happen?

[bestraongforyou]

you know if this turns out to be true - my entire marriage is not real then

[bestraongforyou]

I will go to the bank to see if I can get a copy. I don't think there will be anything funny on it but it will show me the money he paid for his mobile those months.

I must have missed something ... when did this happen?

2004

[bestraongforyou]

P17, sorry for confusion - the story with the text messages was in 2004, one year after we got married - and in 2005 he went abroad to work where the co-worker i.e. happened.

If the one in 2004 turns out to be true and I am pretty sure the co-worker in 2009 is true to then I cab be also sure there have been more in between.

What I don't understand - why the separation now when he cheated for so long and it never intervened with our marriage?

[P17]

What I don't understand - why the separation now when he cheated for so long and it never intervened with our marriage?

Guilt? Maybe it's too much for him to take now? Maybe the other ones were just flings but he sees this one as 'real' (like they all do)?

Who knows ... don't read too much into these things. Just accept it for what it is and work through it. Sometimes having the answers doesn't actually help.