Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
Is wearing a wedding band on the right hand mean anything? We are headed for D, just curious if this meant anything when people are separated.

Last edited by brknheart; 11/13/09 06:41 AM.

Sitch:
http://snipurl.com/u4zrz

M-11y

D talk-7/28/09
W Moved out-9/01/09
W wants D-9/22/09
W doesnt want D-12/1/09
W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09
W wants D-1/19/10
D Final-04/15/10
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
Huh...I don't know. The only time I have ever heard of this is from an ex-coworker who divorced her abusive husband, and she wore the rings on her right hand because they were a second set that were purchased by her children.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
You might have more success reading tea leaves. Stop worrying about what she's doing, and focus on you.

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
Amen Jeff!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
not that I care, just curious. Shes made it clear that she wants a D, I find it odd she wants to keep wearing the ring. A ring symbolizes commitment and she is the one breaking it. Maybe I can wear my ring on my middle finger...lol


Sitch:
http://snipurl.com/u4zrz

M-11y

D talk-7/28/09
W Moved out-9/01/09
W wants D-9/22/09
W doesnt want D-12/1/09
W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09
W wants D-1/19/10
D Final-04/15/10
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,033
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,033
I agree with Jeff....don't read anything into it. That said, a divorced friend still wears her rings on her right hand....because she likes how the look and sometimes to remember that there was an occasional good time in her marriage.


"Be the changes you want to see in the world"
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,945
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,945
My W moved out, wants a divorce but still wears all her rings (both the bridal set AND the three stone diamond anniversary ring I gave her several years ago). If I tried to figure out the why's of everything she did it would drive me crazy. crazy

S4H

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 278
yea, i here ya, trying to figure her out would drive me nuts. She says she has never been happy in our marriage, seems like the ring would be a constant reminder of her happiness. I choose to wear my ring because I made a commitment to my W and the ring is a symbol of that commitment. Once the D papers are signed though, she can have it back.


Sitch:
http://snipurl.com/u4zrz

M-11y

D talk-7/28/09
W Moved out-9/01/09
W wants D-9/22/09
W doesnt want D-12/1/09
W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09
W wants D-1/19/10
D Final-04/15/10
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,779
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,779
I copied what you wrote in the detachment thread here:

Quote:
Its been 3 1/2 weeks since ive seen my WAW. She came to the house last night thinking I wasnt home. I went outside to see what the dogs were barking at and she was in her car. She was just stopping by to drop some things off. I went back inside and all of the emotions inside of me came out. Its been tough. I want to tell her how much I love her and how much I want her to come back, yet I know cannot do this. The funny thing is she has done some things Im not sure I could forgive, yet I want her back. I keep asking myself do I miss the companionship and having someone to come home to, do I really miss her or that? She txted me that she was sorry she came by and she didnt come in because she wanted to respect my request to not see her. I know that detaching does not mean giving up, but its hard to have hope when it feels like she really doesnt care about me anymore, not even as a friend. Im almost through with the "Uncoupling" book, its amazing how people are so self-centered when it comes to breaking long relationships. Its hard reading about people who feel free and has a sense of euphoria when leaving their spouse.


Here's a something that might help you: You need to upgrade your boundary with her.

Request for her to not come anywhere near your house without prior consent. Tell her she is free to "make an appointment" with you beforehand, but out of respect for you, she is not to enter the home uninvited. She moved out and there are consequences to that. If you cannot face her, make sure you have a friend there to let her in.

In some states its against the law to change the locks on the house. Find out about your situation. If you can then do it. Pack all her belongings into boxes and place them in the garage. This way when she comes for them she will not need to enter the house.

I know this may sound cold, but the intention is to protect yourself and your emotions. Her coming by when you're not around is an invasion of privacy. Granted, this can be used to your advantage... @Greek here recommends you "redecorate" the house, I don't feel you're ready for this because you're still too "soft" on her at the moment.

Also, stick to ONE thread, this makes it easier for people to follow you and keep up with you. Right now you're so all over the place that I wasn't sure where to post a reply to you.

Last edited by Gnosis; 11/16/09 03:41 AM. Reason: added more suggestions

M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married
4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,049
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,049
Passive agressive move on her behalf.... a shot across the bow.....


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2026. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5