Update

[sdharrell74]

I have have a rough week. I did go to the party Friday night with H. OW kept trying to talk to me throughout the night. I tried to get close to her husband but never really got the opportunity without being obvious. I did look at our mobile records and saw that they were txting each other under the same roof the entire night. During the party, my H friend pulled me outside because he wanted to talk to me. He asked me if things were ok with H and I. I knew that he knew at that point. We had a long talk that night and he confided in me that he had pulled the same crap on his wife. He told me not to throw my H out until he could have a talk with him. He wants to tell him to knock it off and told me that my H had even told him that we had gone to counceling. That shocked me since H doesn't talk to anyone.

Saturday night he had to be at the firestation at 8 pm and I informed him that I was going out and then asked what time he was leaving to head to work. He said go ahead and go now. I tolf him that he didnt understand, " I am going out and will not be back for a while." He said where are you going? I said out with my BFF. He said "OH". After I left my mother came over to sit with the kids. She told me that my H had made the comment to her that I had gone out but he had no idea where. She did not divulge any info. At 12:51 am I received a forwarded joke from H. I did not respond. On Sunday morning he returned home from work around 9 am and I gave him a polite "good morning". Then I went and took a shower and then sat on the bed putting on my makeup. He made his way into the bedroom and with a major attitude said "WHat crawled up your @ss?" I said nothing why? He said why cant you speak to me to which i responded to him that I had said good morning when i got home. Later that day we went to see his grandfather. He had lung cancer. He was really bad off. Monday my h had to work. His schedule is a 24 hour shift so he works 8 am to 8 am. At 12am tuesday morning while he was at work he started txting me. He was actually really nice and seemed concerned about why i was up so late and couldnt sleep. At 6:30am his mom called me and told me that his grandfather had died at 3:30am. I had to break that news to him. At 9 am we had an appt with a surgeon. Our 4 year old son has to have surgery for a hernia and a retracted testicle. I am worried sick for my baby. I found out today that he was on the phone with the OW the whole way to the dr and then made sure to call her when we left. I am so sick over this. We are supposed to go to Las Vegas next Monday. The trip has been paid for and planned since August. It was his damn idea to go on the trip. THen all of a sudden he hasnt been happy in a long time. Hmmmm. Seems funny that he was happy enough with me before he met her to plan a week long trip and send me sexy txts and video and flirt via txt. Now I guess all those go to her. Today, I hate him.

[praying_in_GA]

No advice, just a hug.

[sdharrell74]

thank you praying_in_GA

[PainfulDusk]

((sdh))

[Super Girl]

(((sdh)))

I hope your son is okay. Hang in there.

[sdharrell74]

I am coming ever so close to asking my husband to leave. I can not go on being lied to everyday. When he works his 24 hour shift, I have so much more peace. I feel a little less lonely. When he is home, I so crave the touch and emotion that I am not getting. He is right there in front of me but I can't reach out to him. I am hoping that we actually do go on this trip so that I can see how I really feel. It will do one of two things. Bring us together or make me see that he needs to leave. At this point, I dont even want his there for my sons surgery. All he will be doing is talking to the OW and updating her on our sons status. I did find someone that will show me where OW lives when I am ready to tell her husband. I am inching closer to that point. I feel like he already has some idea. He kept looking over at me at the party like he wanted to talk to me. Or maybe he was hot for me cuz I looked so good that night.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I did find someone that will show me where OW lives when I am ready to tell her husband. I am inching closer to that point.

Don't you think he has a right to know? Why should he be the only one of the 4 of you who DOESN'T get to make decisions based on what's best for him and his family?

I'm so sorry about your little guy. My older brother had to have a hernia at about that same age; it did go fine, tho. Prayers!!

Puppy

[TrentC]

At this point, I dont even want his there for my sons surgery. All he will be doing is talking to the OW and updating her on our sons status.

Boundary time!

"It is disrespectful to me and to our family for you to be communicating with OW while you are here. Take it outside."

I did find someone that will show me where OW lives when I am ready to tell her husband. I am inching closer to that point.

If you have proof, do it. He has as much right to know what is going on in his marriage as you do.

Also, affairs are a lot harder to keep going once both betrayed spouses know what's going on. Your H might be surprised to find his OW go scurrying back to her husband once he lays the law down (or kicks her out).

[sdharrell74]

Oh, I have pictures. I have phone and txt records. I have emails. Proof enough for me that there is at least an EA.

[TrentC]

Oh, I have pictures. I have phone and txt records. I have emails. Proof enough for me that there is at least an EA.

Then it's time to put the brakes on their party train.

However, keep in mind that this is not a bluffing situation. If you do this, you have to understand what the outcomes may be.

At the very least, he and the OW may end up living together for a while until their relationship falls apart. (Affairs are about secrecy and fantasy; take both away and the affair will most likely end.)

Know that doing this could cause your husband to walk away for good because you "betrayed" him, regardless of if he stays with the OW or not.