My wife says that I need to lose weight in order to be sexually attractive to her.
I have loved her and cherished her through 3 kids and 120 pounds that she has put on. I am currently overweight, but I outweigh her by 30lbs and I'm 9 inches taller. When I dropped a lot of weight she castigated me for it. I was in great shape and she put me down about it. She is very controlling about my diet and my exercise. I used to run and now don't. I used to lift and now don't. I used to eat right and now don't.
I started working on losing weight in spite of her just two days ago. I can't/won't lose weight for her. It's a deal breaker for me. If she's going to set my weight up as a condition for love, I want out. I'm just done.
I told her not to bring it up any more. She did anyway. I told her that if she insists, our remaining discussions can be through attorneys. I just can't lose weight for her. I can do it for me, but I'd never look at myself right if I let her whip me into this. Am I wrong?
I have loved her and cherished her through 3 kids and 120 pounds that she has put on. I am currently overweight, but I outweigh her by 30lbs and I'm 9 inches taller. When I dropped a lot of weight she castigated me for it. I was in great shape and she put me down about it. She is very controlling about my diet and my exercise. I used to run and now don't. I used to lift and now don't. I used to eat right and now don't.
I think this part is most telling; it's not just about your weight, because she gave you grief when you were in better shape.
Originally Posted By: SpinFree
I told her not to bring it up any more. She did anyway. I told her that if she insists, our remaining discussions can be through attorneys. I just can't lose weight for her. I can do it for me, but I'd never look at myself right if I let her whip me into this. Am I wrong?
Nope. Tell her to back off, you'll deal with your weight and your health as you see fit.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
You're not wrong. She sounds like a controlling b*tch, the way you describe it.
Are you sure there's not something else you're not telling us??
Puppy
I'm not perfect. I tend to leave my clothes in the floor. I've left the dishes too many times. I've spent too much time on work/school. I'm really willing to do 50% to make this work, but I just CAN'T/WON'T give her control of this. It is the first thing in almost 18 years of marriage that just immediately slapped me in the face and said, "I'm a deal breaker, nice to meet you."
Her best friends describe her as a scary beeyotch.
You're not wrong. She sounds like a controlling b*tch, the way you describe it.
Are you sure there's not something else you're not telling us??
Puppy
Ditto. And from what I gather, you're both overweight"? If so, she's either threatened or intimidated by you losing weight while she stays fat. Kinda like when two are alcoholics and one stops. It changes the dynamic. And it's no longer "We're the same, so nothing's wrong." It now becomes "Hey, I'm the drinker."
And, yeah, she sounds like a controller.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
When I dropped a lot of weight she castigated me for it. I was in great shape and she put me down about it.
I don't like the way you look. You spend too much time exercising. Muscles don't do anything for me. Her physical reactions belied this, but I listened to her words to my detriment.
Also, what do you mean she's very controlling of your DIET??
Puppy
Me and the kids are eating this. Why won't you eat what I fixed? Nobody appreciates my cooking. I worked really hard on this.
