WAW has so much anger/hate, still love her

[brknheart]

Some of you may have read my stich. I havent see or talked to my WAW in about 3 weeks. It got to the point where whenever I saw her, she would be nice then do or say something that put me off. The last time I talked to her, I asked her why she had so much hate and anger towards me. She said she didnt, that she just "didnt care" and was "over me". Thats when I told her I cant do this anymore and I have to move on like she is doing. We only communicate now via txt or email and I can see the anger in some of the messages. Despite all of this pain that Ive been through, I still love and care for her. It would be 10x easier if I didnt. Ive been GAL and planning my life after D, but I still dont want a D. Its not in my hands to decide, since she is the one that wants a D. At the rate we are going, we wont have to see or talk to each other until mid to late December. I know that I cant change her mind, but is there anything I can do to try to make things better? Ive tried getting myself to give up. I havent told her that I loved her in over a month and Ive been following the other donts listed in the forum.

[etrain]

I'm sorry, brkn. Detaching seems to be the hardest part. In my sitch, W was having an A so I use my anger/hate to fuel the detaching process. Yours doesn't seem that cut & dry.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things...GALing, not contacting, etc. I'd say stay the course. Get control of your own life so you'll be prepared no matter what happens.

I wish you the best of luck.

[brknheart]

tnks etrain. Yes, detaching is hard. Ive been doing good until this weekend. I know its a long process and roller coaster ride. People keep telling me that "you will be better off" or "she is doing you a favor" but its not easy to see that right now, if its true. Its hard not having someone for so long and then being so lonely. I try to do as much as I can get GAL and get my mind off things, but sometimes no matter what you do memories pop in your head. She has put me through hell, has no idea whats its like to be the one getting dumped. Despite this, I still hope she sees things arent hopeless by the time we sign the papers.