I had a really bad weekend, I am really struggling to come to terms with how my W is treating me. She is very cold and almost looks to fight with me regardless of how I approach things. I reacted on Sunday and we ended up in a huge fight witch left me saying that I will not stand in her way if she wants to leave and that I loved her to much to hold her back.
There was lots of tears, but after we had cooled down I asked to please go for counseling and see if it will help us as I did not want it over before we had tried everything. She agreed. She was warm to me for like 30 mins and since then has been really cold.
I have found an Imago therapist (anybody have any thoughts on this type of therapy?) and think that it may be the best type of therapy for us.
Today we spoke about the appointments and I told her that the therapist had recommended a minimum of 12 sessions as this was need to really be beneficial. She said that she would commit to 6 and see how she felt after that and that she would tell me all along how she felt and would pretend if it is not working.
She has been really aggressive and cold to me since Sunday and I have not reacted as yet but am finding it very hard. I am worried as she is going in to the counseling with a very negative approach and only hope that it will open something in her heart.
As hard as it is, I will not react again from now, We are still living together and sleeping in the same bed. With the Therapy taking a few months I still have a some time to implement change and peace in the house, I just need to follow through and stay focused now, My son needs me and I need to show my W that I am strong and able to be the man she needs.
M: 30 W: 32 Married: 9 years s: 2.8 Bomb dropped: 7-10-09 same house, bed, no physical contact My sitch: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1871805&page=1
That sounds more like progress to me. If your therapist is good, getting her into a place where you can both talk to someone who isn't angry or upset (and at whom she isn't really angry or upset) sounds like an ideal situation to me.
I wouldn't know firsthand; I never talked my wife into going to a therapist either for her or for us, even though she saw what a difference the family counseling we did for adoption preservation made with our kids. So you're way ahead of me on this one, if that makes you feel any better about it.
