This whole process is so foreign to me and how I defined myself for so many years. Radical changes in how I relate to everything. I guess I am here cause what I was doing wasn't working for anyone. Time to try new things.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a counselor. One of the first things out of W mouth after da bomb was I will not do MC, so I am on my own in sorting this mess out. I want a pro M SBT type with a background in pastoral counseling. What else should I be asking about. I have heard several horror stories. I don't want to get into this to find out I wasted time and money on the wrong therapist.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Been looking forward to going to the Bears game all fall. Just me my my son and stepsons, having fun. Wish I didn't know what I know now. New matching bra and pantie set on, new jeans laid out bed is stripped. Poor Dog will get locked in the basement and I will be thinking about whats going on not on the field but in my house. I hate this....Detach...Detach..Detach.
Don't know that this is the exact senario but I am sure it is along the same lines, she already said I could take the nice car cause she has no plans of going anywhere. SP is right they are aliens.
I don't know about counselors, but from what I've heard you can't beat a DB Coach. I assumed you meant for yourself....since your W doesn't agree on seeing a C.
Have you read the DR book? Can you give us some information about your stitch?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi Tes I have both books and try to read daily as well as look at posts. I am in a better spot today. My sitch link is below. Warning long winded and poorly formated will revise when time permits Thanks Chill
This weekend I am Mr PMA lots of stuff to do around the house. Not going to get sucked into the negativity that was my focus last weekend. Last night we spent a few hours watching the TV a few laughs together which was good. S14 spent the night at a friends house, avoided R talk, which given the fact has been the only time in the last three weeks we have been home alone I feel I showed a great deal of restraint. Have to get to the gym today and Sunday to continue the GAL and goals I have set.
Back and forth, up and down, on the roller cosaster that is my life now. One day thing are great the next not so much. I think it has a lot to do with my expectations. The OM activities have seem to slowed a bit. S
Up and down, highs and lows, seems like that is my life now on this roller coaster that is dbing. Seems like the blatant OM activities have slowed down a bit. I am GALing and not getting into R talks which seems good to her. She is calling me and texting more frequently, since I have more or less ceased initiating contact except for the morning wake up call and I keep that short and to the point. I did send a FB Friend request to the suspected other man the other night. No repsonse as I expected but it did send a message. He is over an hour away if I am correct, they may have cooled it while I am around. In the last couple of days she has only ran to the bathroom once after getting a call. As I figure it she is almost to the 4-6 month point in this thing. So that means the newness may where off sometime this winter. I am committed to staying and reevaluating things in the spring, so I try and not project and take things one day at a time and today is pretty good.
