Hi...I am new and this is my sitch. My husband and I have beem maried 9 years, have 3 kids, ages 2,5 & 8. In July (day after my son's 8th birthday) he told me he was leaving. Complete SHOCK! I thought he was joking but he wasn't! He said he's been unhappy for a long time and finally was "done". He left and stayed in hotels for two weeks and wouldn't tell me where he was. Found out he had been talking to xgf for past 10 years but EA not PA. Then found out about another "young" girl he had been seeing and texting. He got an apt. and sees the kids per a schedule I set up. He sends mixed messages all the time and says he is confused. I truly think he's a MLCer but he's only 33. I've had two sessions with coaches on here and they were helpful but I just don't know how long I can live seperate lives. We just renovated our house and he left me with a lot of unfinished work which I have since finished. Any insight/recommendations would help!
Found out he had been talking to xgf for past 10 years but EA not PA.
What is the schedule you set up? I think you should see a good family law attorney, and find out what your rights and responsibilities are here. As a parent, I personally would only give my wife MINIMUM exposure to my kids if she was living this kind of lifestyle.
She's 26..so not that young. I'm 36. I do not know anything..that's the problem. my very supporting family (who loves him like family as well and are shocked too) told me to have him take as much responsibility and not let him walk away from his kids so the schedule is every other weekend and 2-3 nights during the week.
We went to a mediator and he didn't want to pay the 5K upfront then I saw a lawyer who old me it was going to cost 10-20K which my husband said was stupid because he shows he makes no money because he is self-employed and the court won't award me much (I'm a stay-at-home mom). He has been paying all bills and so now is paying two households. Just trying to understand how a man who everyone thought loved his wife could walk out on three kids too!
He lives in a apt. 10 min. away. 2 BR so girls share room and son either sleeps with him or on couch. When he got apt. he bought brand new everything...spent thousands and I worried at first he lived with girl but not the case.
What state are you in? How many years is considered a "long-term marriage" in your state? (In Florida, it is generally 15). If it's 10 in your state, you may have some leverage there.
If your husband is intentionally (or even un-intentionally) "under-employed," a good attorney can hire an occupational evaluator who can IMPUTE INCOME to your husband, based on what he SHOULD be earning, based on his experience, qualifications and the availability of those types of jobs in your area. You would probably have to pay the up-front cost of the OE, but it might be well-worth the investment.
As for your "how," don't overthink it, JSTV. He's a guy, in lust with a younger girl. Do I need to spell it out for you? He's running on LUST right now, and it's highly addictive. I'm not EXCUSING it, mind you, as i have ZERO RESPECT for a man that would run out on his family, but I'm just trying to EXPLAIN it to you.
He lives in a apt. 10 min. away. 2 BR so girls share room and son either sleeps with him or on couch. When he got apt. he bought brand new everything...spent thousands and I worried at first he lived with girl but not the case.
It's your business, but I don't think that's much of a living arrangement. If it were me, I would only allow him to have them over there maybe every-other weekend, unless a court ordered me to do more.
Are you SURE he's not bringing OW around your kids?
I'm in CT. Yes, I understand but having hard time accepting because I think OW is out-of-state and maybe coming back...it's hard living with the unknown and i've already swam through the shock but he doesn't know what he wants.
