WAW may know that I am reading DB Book - Now What?

[neversaydie63]

Question,

It is possible that my WAW may have discovered that I am reading the DB book. Should I be worried? What should I do? I really did not want her to know that I am reading this as she may look at some of the DB techniques, now know what they are, and think I am trying to control or manipulate her. What’s worse is that she may have read some of my journal posting and entries on what is working and what is not!! – Yikes --- I am not positive she did but there was a drawer left unlocked that I keep all my stuff in.

Any thoughts or Ideas on what (if anything?) I should do?

Thanks

NSD

[neversaydie63]

no one ever answered this one so I thought I would try it again?

Any thoughts on this?? Anyone??

Thanks

NSD

[clueless]

I wouldn't stress about it. Most WAW's aren't reflective enough to read a book like DB or DR. Chances are she saw it, laughed, and moved on. The journal, on the other hand, is probably intriguing enough to warrant a read. Keep it at the office going forward. I don't think that there is any way to put the horse back int he barn though and you can only make things worse by talking about it, so keep your mouth shut and, like the wayward son, carry on.

[Gardener]

nsd,
I agree with clueless. If she saw the book, she probably thought "yeah, right," or"fat chance." or something dismissive.

Regarding the journal, that may have been looked at (if indeed she even saw the unlocked, open drawer and investigated it. Probably unlikely).

Journal here. Many of us do.

[JTJ]

I am not positive she did but there was a drawer left unlocked that I keep all my stuff in.

Did this happen at your home? It says that someone moved out on your signature. If she snooped in your things than she probably won't say a thing for the mere fact you could call her on her snooping.

JJ

[neversaydie63]

OK - well thanks to everyone for getting back to me on that. I don’t know, like clueless said, if the horse is out of the barn, probably not going to be able to get er back in.

I am not going to worry about it, I am just going to keep going the way I have been going, working on myself, GAL, keep reading, and just try my best to keep this thing pointing in the right direction. My biggest problem is being patient, I just want to have the big, heavy R talk and see where we stand (and see if there is a future) but I know better (it just so hard for me because that is my personality - oh well, I will just keep biting my tong.)

Thanks

NSD

[robx]

throw it in a waste paper basket, and label it with a sticky that says "things I will no longer waste my time with going forward" and leave it in clear site.

Once she sees that you are "giving up" and no longer going against the separation/divorce that's when things will change.

You currently don't agree with her on any of this,
you're counter-intuitive 180 is to agree with her,
this is hopeless, it will never work, I'm done wasting my time on this.

This will make her curious, currently she expects you to do everything & anything to stop what's happening.

Do the unexpected, throw it out.
(Recover it at a later point from the trash when she's not looking and store the book at work where she can't see it).

And then start getting a life,
stop spending so much time at home,
friday get all fancied up and go out, even if it's a drive to the next state or staying at a motel room for 1 night or better yet, don't fake it, go out with buddies and come home very late: shower, shave, haircut, new outfit, shoes, cologne, etc. and go out and if she asks where you're going, you tell her that what you do no longer concerns her anymore and turn your back on her and walk away.

Become the WAS, do what she's doing, don't give her attention anymore, stop asking her questions or talking to her, limit your contact, go dark, get a life, go to the gym, start tanning, start going out regularly and appear to be moving on.

What you're currently doing isn't working,
stop doing what doesn't work, start doing what does work.

[june72]

I have to admit. I like Rob's approach. Once I realized that I could be fine without hubby and kind of accepted it and let him know I would be ok. He seemed interested in me again.