SHOULD I STOP COOPERATING WITH THE DIVORCE/CONDO SALE?
Last nite I met w/ my W's cousin, who introduced us 10 yrs ago. I was careful not to tell him about the SA my W is having with the OM, but he knows we're separated and have lawyered up. He's convinced she's in the wrong.
First, he said I should have never moved out last month. (I've read that here too.) I've heard mixed opinions on whether I was right leaving 9/4 to spare my kids a scene, or whether I should have made her and the kids leave to go her parents house (5 min away).
Next, he said something I hadn't considered. STOP COOPERATING! He said if you're going to fight for your M, why am I allowing our condo to be sold? He feels that will be a major psychological break with the M (as if an SA isn't!! which I did not say to him).
I don't know the ramifications if I back out against the realtor's agreement, but the realtor is a good friend of mine.
In the DB/DR world, can I stall? Should I stall? Should I stop going along with this?
FYI, my W seems to have slumped into depression after the OM broke it off (to take care of his suicidal W). I've asked my W if she's had any further contact with the OM. She just breaks down painfully crying and says no, like I'm pouring salt in a wound. But I have no reason to believe contact has stopped based on how addicted she got to this guy in such a short period. A close friend of mine and my W's suggested my W needs a few weeks to get him out of her system. But I don't know if she can.
So...please tell me if I should do a 180 and stop cooperating with this home sale??? Thx
I've asked my W if she's had any further contact with the OM
Why are you doing that? It's not like she says she wants to reconcile with you and you want to make sure he's out of the picture first. Those kind of probing questions are just pursuing.
The first mistake you made was moving out....had you stayed the answer would be easy, of course you don't sell because you are still living there. But you moved out. On the practical side, are there positives to selling this condo and if things work out in the future, buying something else? Are prices at a point where you will just be losing money by selling? Do you have a lot of equity tied up in this condo?
At this point I would make my decision based on what is right FOR YOU, not for the marriage. If this is costing you monthly (while not even living there), then maybe it would be best to let it be sold. If you never reconcile what would you do with this condo?
Last edited by Phoenixdeux; 10/02/0903:36 PM.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
