The oldest sibling is the overly responsible one. The one who becomes an engineer. The one who doesn't give up but who never has any fun. Theory is that this sibling grows up with higher expectations from his or her parents, who always expect him or her to help out, be their little helper, etc.
The youngest sibling is the irresponsible one. The one who becomes an entertainer. The one who has lots of fun, but who never takes responsibility for anything. Theory is that this sibling grows up always having other people (older sibling) around to be responsible and to "clean up" after them - resolve issues, etc.
So if this stereotype has any hidden truth in it, it would also seem to indicate that it is more likely for a youngest sibling to end up as a WAS and for a oldest sibling to end up as a LBS.
So I'm just wondering if there's anything to it. No real evidence here, of course, but plenty of anecdotal evidence available.
Who is Who in your sitch. Is the LBS the Oldest sibling in his or her family of origin? or the Youngest? How about the WAS?
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It certainly holds true in my sitch:
LBS (Me): Oldest WAS : Youngest
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Chime in!
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
My husband and I are both the oldest siblings in our families. My husband definitely acts like the description, while I am far more like the youngest sibling (though I have learned to take responsibility and be in balance instead of at extremes). My H is the one who walked away, something that shocked me to the core. I'd thought of it, but he was the one who did it. That 180 of his saved our M.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
These kinds of things strike me as generalizations that most people can fit to their personalities. "doesn't give up but who never has any fun" is like me but I've been very irresponsible at the same time and only like me at certain times in my life.
"The one who has lots of fun, but who never takes responsibility for anything," describes my W's youngest brother but not my little sister AT ALL.
I think it's projection. Sorry to be the skeptic, but I don't think it does much good. I think people start to fit themselves and others into these niches and the explanations for them are much more complex.
I prefer action over explanation anyway. What am I going to do right now to help fix things and what are my long term goals? It becomes too formulaic IMO and working on relationships is too dynamic to accept a formula to fix things.
Just an opinion. Use what works best in your situation.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
