I think she was trying to get a reaction out of me, to hurt me intentionally. What's with that? I don't want to put up with that.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
And the drama continues. W calls me and asks for no contact, states we can't be friends right now. Angry at this point, I tell her how I feel, esp. about behavior last night. Still have plans for Fri to take her to doctor but she's a freaking wall. It's so hard to see us back together. I'm so angry w/ her for taking away the most precious thing in my life. How did this happen? I'm lost. It's like a switch was flipped.
I heartily agree w/ her about the NC and at the same time hating that I can't just talk to my wife and enjoy being with her. I want her back. I did some my share of hurtful things but the pain and loss doesn't seem fair. Maybe it is, I don't know any more.
She told me I make her feel small. I never felt she was inferior in any way. That's all on her. If we were together I could spend every day telling her how amazing she is but this separation leaves me with no way to help either of us.
Last edited by M A Holm; 10/05/0912:34 AM.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
So I have to admit I have not read you entire thread. Also so you understand my POV I'm having one of those "I'm so tired of being in this crappy one-way relationship" days. I'm questioning everything about myself and I'm not sure why.
So here is my question for you. Why do you want to be in a relationship with this woman?
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
So I have to admit I have not read you entire thread. Also so you understand my POV I'm having one of those "I'm so tired of being in this crappy one-way relationship" days. I'm questioning everything about myself and I'm not sure why.
So here is my question for you. Why do you want to be in a relationship with this woman?
She was pretty awesome up until a couple mo.s ago. She still is but this MLC is confusing her.
We were best friends for almost 10 yrs. She was my confidante, laughed at my bad jokes and made me feel special because I was her no. 1. Now I'm no. 124 or something. She's turned into an emotional wall. I can hear an undercurrent of resentment in her voice.
I think she's being influenced by an idiot therapist and is feeling like I make her feel small.
This is an alien, a strange doppelganger that I DON'T want to be in a R with. Under all that new weirdness is the core woman I love but I don't know if I can reach her until she wants it. And I don't have a clue when that will be. Right now I'm angry. This new person took my best friend, my lover and my family.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
Okay, lesson learned. Keep your anger in check, especially around kids. Snapped at D13. I was so under control up until now, especially around the kids. It felt so nice to just be mad for once, but it has fallout. Keep your mad to yourself. I'm learning.
W was strangely mellow through it.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
What is hard for me is that I am not sad or depressed but I am hurting and I miss her a lot. I did not and have not reacted like your ex did MA but I have felt it. Give her time before you give up on at least being friends. The last 2 days for me have been the worst I have been through and it has been everything not to lose it sometimes. It is VERY hard since losing EX. Every day is hard. I workout ALL THE TIME. Sometimes 3 times in one day. I have done a 21 workout over 3 times in one week ( 3 exercises for 7 body parts) 3 for Shoulders, 3 for back, 3 for chest, 3 for biceps, 3 for triceps, 3 for abs, 3 for legs. 7 X 3 = 21. Normally I would do a workout like this once a month. It kills your body but the truth is that I could do another again later tonight. I am not sure if I am going to make it. I can't study harder, work harder, practice more, train more or anything like that to overcome this issue and those are the normal things that usually work for me. I REALLY, REALLY wanted to grow old with her and my 6 year old adores her more than anything. I still love her and I am still IN LOVE with her. Don't know what I am going to do.
I have only physically seen her and talk to her about 4 times since I moved out on August 31st. Since then I have only had text contact here and there. What is MLC?? As for what works, I have no idea what works. It is hard right now I would love to call her and hear her voice but I know that is not what she wants. I should move on and that makes logical sense but that is not how I feel and not what I really want.
What does MLC mean? I don't know? I do consider TM contact. It mostly about stuff we have to converse about. Like when I had to get stuff out of the house still. It was very painful and I dragged it out to long to be sure. Just didn't want to do it and I avoided it.
