hey sandi i got a question please help

[texasbobby]

i read one of your post about dating to make waw's jealous.

my wife gets angry because i havent moved on. is this normal? why would she care if i was dating or not? if she did why would she tell me over and over to move on?

[texasbobby]

if it were the other way around i dont think id like to hear about her with someone eles.

[texasbobby]

my other question is ive seen many spouses divorce only to regret it later. is a waw so confused she doesnt even know what she wants? when mine first told me it was over she said she wanted to finish college before fixing us . now she isnt even planing on contiuning her education.

i dont understand anymore it would be easier if i knew she was confused and just needed more time to figure it out.

[RedSoxFan]

i dont understand anymore it would be easier if i knew she was confused and just needed more time to figure it out.

I left my W and kids one year ago. Tough marital problems, MLC and ended up in an affair. I make no excuses but I can tell you I had no idea what I was doing. I'm now fighting to save my marriage and family after almost a year of healing, therapy,etc.

No person alive was able to talk sense to me a year ago.

[texasbobby]

thanks for responding rsf,

iabout walk away at one time to, it took me some space and a vacation to miss her and i did dearly. when i came back we started to put it together, and got alone better than ever.

i hope she is using this time to reflect on the things she will be missing let alone the kids. she is my best friend and partner.

maybe my l can make her see reality, my aunt used the same l and he is completly pro marriage. it took her h to see life wasnt going to be easy for him to calm down. that was 19 yrs ago, and they get along better than ever.

hope i end up with the same out come.

[RedSoxFan]

TB, I really believe there is hope. I don't know about you, but for me patience is the hardest part. Knowing that it can take time. Hang in there!!

[texasbobby]

thank you so much! and yes thats the hardest part for me as well.
i go a lonhg while then back peddal due to i think she may be having secon thoughts

[texasbobby]

well ii send my wife the first 2 chapters of DR. she called me back a said why in the hell would i send her that. i doubt she will read it , who knows she might.

i know that isnt a good LRT,but it has worked for others. ithink im just going to back completly off for now.

my coach said be her friend for now and try to start talking again.this has always backfired on me ,i think i should be much darker. but hell i dont know anymore.

[JayMan]

Oof, I wouldn't send any spouse the DR book! Why reveal them your methodology?

Also:

maybe l can make her see reality

You can't MAKE her do anything, stop trying. Do you really want a wife that stays with you because life would stink? Or do you want a spouse that will stay with you because she loves you as a man, husband, father, and general good person with whom she wants to spend the rest of her life?

[texasbobby]

i know i cant make her do anything. if she she would come down here i know she would calm down. if she could get away from the outside influence i know or at least i think her real feeling would come back out.