Does anyone have thoughts on either of these two books. I can admit i've been physically and emotionally abusive to my spouse in the past and really see my self in the No more Mr. Nice guy book. I would like some thoughts on Love without hurt. I'm trying to heal.
thanks
JJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
Having been in & left an abusive relationship, both phsycially & emotionally... Love without hurt is the ONLY thing, that got through to my H, I've heard the same from other spouses of abusers.
Until the abuser can be compassionate with himself & those he loves.. NMMNG principals are irrelevant, IMHO.
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks everyone for your prompt replys I will put down no more Mr. nice Guy and Pick up Love without hurt. I'm already practicing some of the priciples. Love, patience, mercy and hope.
Coach, thanks for mentioning Love without hurt in another thread.
Like Divorce Busting should I keep the book from my wifes eyes or is it ok for her to see? I don't want this to come across as another phoney attempt by an abusive spouse. Even though I understand she's hurting and doesn't trust me. I can only change myself.
JJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
K: No..it's for anyone that violates their own core values & lacks the knowledge & habits to tap into their compassion & empathy - that leads to being emotionally, verbally, physically to those they 'love'.
There is a large section in the book devoted to the spouse of the abuser. Stosny also has a blog and workshops you can attend.. he will also do phone consultations.
I can tell you that reading/studying 'Love Without Hurt' by Stosny is absolutely the most therapeutic thing I have done, along with the passage of time, in order to become a better man, a better father, and a better partner. I've gone to counseling, and I've done/am doing a lot of work on myself...but this book has been a gift from God for me. I was angry, resentful, and abusive (verbally and emotionally). This book has helped me understand things that I did not understand before, and it has helped me turn around.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Antlers thats great news! I pray for all abusers and our victims. It is a true testament of courage to admit and work on something that has been virtually ignored by previous generations.
Everyone keep up the hard work and may you bare the fruits of your labor. Forgive yourself, ask forgiveness from God and start healing!!!
JJ
"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. "
Mother Teresa
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
