yesterday i was served seperation paperwork. in there it says i can not contact wife or children, but wife says she doesnt mind. i feel like she is trying to get me in some kind of trouble. let alone everything in there is bs. she said i was violent and abonded them, nothing could be farther from the truth. with her parents helping i feel like she has let it go too far to come clean. any advice?
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
Prepare for either outcome. Understand all the consequences, growth, healthy change and needs for either. - Divorce - Reconciliation
Even though she is across the country your actions are being watched. Your kids need you to be wise and strong. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
thank u so much. what sucks is without the family influnce on her it wuold have been fixed. she moved here with me, of course now denines. she wanted to get remarried,but went home for 3 weeks and after staying with her father wanted a divorce. i cant give up her them.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
just got a lawyer in va. he is suppose to be promarriage. my aunt said when she was going through this he made it extremely hard on her h. they reconsiled ..hopefully i can get similar results.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
wife sent me a text and said i could call the kids. some reason i feel like she is always dangaling a string in front of me,ie useing them as the string. she is so determined to divorce yet will text out of the blue for the kids. it all happened so fast could it be she is unsure or hasnt even had time to think about it without other influences? her dad gmother and friends? anyone eles got a simalar issue.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
Text her your lawyer has advised you for the kids to call you. That way you have a record of the call inbound from her #. I wouldn't do anything to go against the RO until you get some legal counsel.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Have you contacted the lawyer to ask about the fact that the seperation papers says one thing but she's texting you with permission to call the children? (I'd also be concerned about that just like you if I was in the same situation.)
If there is no legal concern, I'd say take every advantage of maintaining and improving your relationship with your children. Phone calls, letters, etc - but all very focused on the children and reassuring them that you love them & miss them. No asking or saying anything about their mom at all.
Are you following DB suggestions of being light, pleasant, positive, and as brief as possible in any communication with ex? (No relationship talk, anger, criticisms, etc.)
On my end even if my husband does moves out, I would be encouraging of him to maintain lots of contact with the kids.
thanks bc, i have been saving her text waiting on the lawyer to call me back. she has never stopped me from being a father,she has always said i was a great father. she is angry about past issues. issues that were minor , she is looking for any excuse to divorce right now. im trying to be pleasent sometimes its so hard because i know her father is pushing for this . he always has since we made the move together. now she says she never wanted to move. the paperwork says i was violent and abandoned them. that couldnt be farther from the truth. she brought everything here and rented the apartment. she was looking at new wedding bands for us and our new start.
just dont understand how family can be such a huge influnce. or how they can break up a family.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
There are a couple of things at play with families and friends. First, they are only seeing half of the equations; the side they get from your wife. Let's face it, your not the most popular person in her book. Not only that she "needs" to have a reason for the her actions. The reason could be real, imaginary or a combination of both. Also, your W's family only wants to see her happy. They are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen including assist he break up the family.
Looks like you are in good hands with Coach. He's been down this road before.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
