Sorry to post with this title, but it really is an emergency to me.
I have listed out my situation on this thread and I have had a major event happen.
Basically, my XH has been waffling between myself and a new girlfriend (that he has had since just prior to our divorce). He tells me all the time that he still has feelings for me and that he is unsure of his situation. I have stopped pursuing him and this has made him come toward me even more.
Today, his girlfriend called me because she felt that she was not getting a straight story from him. Based on what she told me, she is not getting a straight story. I asked several times if he knew she was talking to me and she said yes. So, I told her what he has been telling me and what I have been doing. She was very surprised.
Needless to say, he will not be happy that we spoke. I was not sure that I should tell her everything, but she commented that we have both been on the yo-yo for quite some time and she was tired of it. She plans to tell him to make a decision.
I don't think that will work because he has been trying to make a decision for months. Any advice on what I should do here? At this time I am planning to sit back and let them duke it out, but I will admit that I am scared that she will be able to pressure him to commit to her if I just sit back and let her have him. But what else can I do?
A tough call, but I think you're right about sitting back and letting her make all the mistakes that a new LBS makes: pleading, giving ultimatums, etc.
You're D right? So he's a big boy now and needs to figure things out for himself.
I'd continue doing what is suggested here - listen, validate, stay calm, composed, and womanly - let her do the damage.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Sit back and let her try to control him. She will do herself in, and you didn't have anything to do with it. He will then look back to you, because you were not the one pressuring him.
