the message of DBing IS a good one I think sometimes that message gets skewed
like people are DBing for the wrong reasons
they stop when they don't get what they want immediately
or they give great lip service without doing the work
you know
words are great but you have to believe them in your heart of hearts
there is a faking until you make it
DBing is ultimately for ourselves to grow to learn to pick our battles to love more completely
I was talking with a friend about how painful it is to read our beginnings how almost embarassing how fresh from the package we were how we thought we had grown a lot but looking back we were still younglings how everyday we learn we grow we are tough adn strong and better than we ever were
that is what DBing is
it is not having all the right words or being a warrior or a survivor
it is about living living well loving true
joy
none of us will ever be 100% if we were why would we continue to strive
I agree with what you are saying........but only to a certain point.
I agree with Figgy more ( although she was kinda hard to read, with being all grammatically correct and all :p )
DB'ing is about us being the best we can be , and I know you know this too.
There comes a time through all of this where posting CAN keep the LBS stuck. We look back one day and realize that , not only are we standing, we are standing still. Not moving in any specified direction except the one that keeps us in quicksand.
This doesn't mean that we are necessarily doing that, only that we FEEL that way. And what is in our heads is way different than reality in most cases.
Each of us have walked a very different path together, yet alone -as a good friend told me -( no nickel, credit given):o
Each of us "process" things uniquely, and in our own time.
Each of us eventually lays down the sword in our own way and perserveres on our own course through the trials and tribulations of this crazy life we lead.
Does it make us bad ?
No.....Just real.
NOT posting may actually mean that we are out trying to fullfill our lives with culture, taking chances , doing something new, and thriving-not just surviving.
Eventually, most of us ALL come back here...most with a new outlook on life.
Look at all of the "new" threads from "old" posters recently....(although we like the abuse...????)
There are two ways to let our wayward spouses go.....one is with anger and a FU on the way out....
The second is with Love and understanding...
The second one is why us "old timers" with some sense of self seem to find our way back here. The ones that don't come back ? Well, maybe that is for the best......
Bitterness and anger are not close friends of letting go with love.....
The difference, at least to me, is doing the work........
I, for one, am a work in process, neverending, and striving to be better everyday.
Mach, Do all 'oldtimers' get poetic when they come back? :-D
Well, speaking as a semi-'newbie', I appreciate the return of posters who have been through this MLC crap and thrived for providing wonderful input, advice and perspective..and poetry!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
I have to agree with every single word Mach just said. Sometimes we just need a break from here.
But I've come to realize in recent days, we do need to COME BACK and offer our insight and let others learn from our experience because while each is so very different there are soooo many similarities.
