who is this man?

[Ms Jen]

While working in the church bookstore I looked thru a few books, and ALL of them said one of the top if not THE TOP need for a husband was sexual fulfillment. WTH? I guess those of us that have uninterested Hs are in the minority? Doesn't sound like it. Then again, none of the things I read dealt specifically with MLC and I guess everything's upside down and backwards in MLC.

[Ms Jen]

Some of H's probs are cultural. In his culture teens dont rebel, they dont ever place more importance on friends than family, they unquestionably solicit advice from revered elders and they never do cut the apron strings. So our teens rebel a little, like their friends at least as much as they like us, dont really want Hs advice (altho he will give it to them regardless) and are beginning to cut the strings and be more independent. All of this I expect and see as a normal part of growing up. My H says they're delinquent and it's my fault. H's feeling dejected and rejected by them but certainly cant verbalize it and prob isnt cognizant of it.

GAL, while good for me, may be making it worse for him.. I dont think he's ever going to reach out because he misses me since I'm not around as often. I obviously dont know how to help tho, and by GAL I'm working to ensure that I'll be okay long term. Whether he is or not I suppose.

[Ms Jen]

i think its ok with him that we have a marriage of convenience. its not ok with me.

[Ms Jen]

I know I shoudn't push any R discussions, esp when I may not like what I'd hear. But I'm really tempted to ask WTF is going on, what the plan is, what the rules of engagement are.

I want to not do Hs laundry, not cook dinner, not sleep in our bed w/H ..
But if I do my laundry and not Hs that means rummaging thru the dirty clothes and just picking mine out. And how do I cook dinner for myself and S16 but not for H? And if I leave our bed - or our house - I don't know that I'll ever come back to it.

That sure would be a 180 for me, tho, sleeping upstairs in the guest room.

I am tired of being uncomfortable in my own house.

[Ms Jen]

Ok, I don't know what to do now.

H has been back from the fog, and just last night initiated ML. But there's been no R talk at all, and I'm weirded out bc it's not ok with me that everything's now POOF back to normal. So I dont know how to approach things. Is it ok for me to talk R/C now or do i wait for a while to make sure it sticks?

I wanted H to ask my forgiveness for being a jerk and proclaim his undying love for me. Yeah, I know I watch too many lifetime movies. So no surprise, THAT didnt happen.

We've been here before, where things are better and I thought we were done, then we were right back to no touch no talk 6 months later. I really dont want a repeat, although I know I cant control what H does. But I do want to est and communicate my boundaries. I think.

Please help... what do I do now?