Need Advice, WAW wants to give it a month

[trrose]

judgmental side is that you'll feel happier and lighter

i always thought that judgement did play a part in marriage...its not like i dont respect her opinion that vanilla is better than chocolate.

Breathing has been my problem. way too amped up

[Coach]

learn what validating is and how to do it. Validating is hearing and understanding someone else's POV whether you agree or not.

[MrBond]

Respecting her opinion is understanding that it is what she thinks and believes. It's not trying to argue against her to try an convince her that she's wrong.

You could always use the analogy of "if the roles were reversed."

If your W told you that you shouldn't do something, how would you like it?

Good luck.

[trrose]

Hello all.
It has been a while since I have checked in and I wanted to give a status. While my marriage is effectively over, there is some good in all of this.

My wife and I entered mediation, I told her that I wanted this thing over as quickly as possible. During the first session you would have thought I was the WAH. She was angry and bitter the entire time.

I have GAL. Dating a lot, which as a seperated man living in same house as his ex is no easy task but one that I am managing. Currently in the process of looking for an apartment but should hopefully be out w/1 a month or two. I plan on joining a ski club in town and going away Christmas time.
I call this thread the Rising, becuase I feel like I am finally in the place where i can rise again and start a new and hopefully better life.

For the last several years, I feel as though it has been death by 1000 cuts in my home. My self esteem and confidence have taken a beating in a number of different areas.

Now Im starting to find myself again.I am eager to end my marriage, because, truthfully, I have gotton to the point where I really feel i deserve better. Even with the mental beatings, somewhere I knew that I was a good man who really didnt deserve it.

Yes, I am just as responsible as my WAW for the marriage getting into trouble, but its destruction is on her. I can look at myself and know i did all i could do to save things.

I wanted to take the time to write today becuase I admire and respect all of you. This site gave me tremendous comfort in the darkest time of my life. I know that this struggle is not over, perhaps the worst may be coming; but i feel like i am getting the tools to help.

I commend all of you for having the perserverance to fight every day for your family. No one but you can tell you when the right time to move on is. If it doesnt turn out the way you planned, there is life after death. A lot of people on this site are good people. Very good, sweet sensitive people who deserve to be happy, or at least have every opportunity to put themselves in that position.

I have been dating beautiful sweet, nice women. Women who appreciate me. I am also making sure that I use the tools i have learned so that I dont make the same mistakes again.

While I feel better and have been having fun, I would give it all up to have saved my marriage. the death of my marriage is my greatest disappointment and I wish things could have been different. Since it is done, I am getting on with my life