WAS's who returned...why did you return?

[billclay18]

Just looking for some feedback from walkaways who returned.

Why did you? Was it something LBS did? was a realization you came to?

[Dia]

In short, because once the pain of feeling unwanted, rejected, unloved and worthless cleared - I was still deeply, passionately in love with him.

Guess I can't answer for other WAWs - did we all feel worthless and unloved?

[Prvbs31]

Hey, I am new here & was wondering if someone here can read my sitch and please tell me what they think:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1820652#Post1820652

[alexjadams]

In short, because once the pain of feeling unwanted, rejected, unloved and worthless cleared - I was still deeply, passionately in love with him.

Guess I can't answer for other WAWs - did we all feel worthless and unloved?

No chance your LBS felt this way huh?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

If that was intended to be as snide and judgemental as it came across, why the hell should anyone answer your questions?

[alexjadams]

J_T_B

all WAS say all this pain is is caused by the LBS
but if they stopped & talked to the LBS they felt the same emotions/feeling/pain as well

but actually it is a rhetorical question

[brknheart]

In short, because once the pain of feeling unwanted, rejected, unloved and worthless cleared - I was still deeply, passionately in love with him.

Guess I can't answer for other WAWs - did we all feel worthless and unloved?

Did you stop loving him and fell back in love? My W says she LMBNILWM. We are starting to see each other again 2 nights a week, but she doesnt want to give me any hope and this isnt her giving me a second chance.

[dday101798]

In short, because once the pain of feeling unwanted, rejected, unloved and worthless cleared - I was still deeply, passionately in love with him.

Heh, my XW has made this proclomation on a couple of different occasions. Yet it didn't stop a family to be ripped to shreds. It didn't stop our children to have their father removed from their lives (although "OM can be daddy now"). It didn't stop the loss of our home and worldly possessions. It didn't stop myself being one constant wrong step away from living on the streets. But all in all, she "still loves me".

Intriguing. No, I guess one can not answer for all.

[C-Bart]

Think my WAW may have given me some insight, not that we are reconciling anytime soon, but it has value non the less.

What she said is she caves in to easily to me. The way she puts it is she cow-tows to me. The way our MC put it is she is unable to maintain herself in a relationship. I've "talked" to some other folks on here that have similar issues. They make all the changes in the R but the WAS is afraid they will loose themselves again if they get back together.

Actually this is a shared trait in our R. I cave in and try and please her, she does the same. Although it provides a temporary fix to an issue it builds toxic resentment in the long run. Its hard to be yourself when your trying to make everyone else happy.

So my challenge for myself is to be self-centered. To do things that meet my needs. To take care of myself and be strong. This may sound selfish but its not. After all I'm the only me there is and if I don't take care of me what good am I to my family?

[Bridgestone]

So my challenge for myself is to be self-centered. To do things that meet my needs. To take care of myself and be strong. This may sound selfish but its not. After all I'm the only me there is and if I don't take care of me what good am I to my family?

from another thread on this forum

Self-preservation/selfish... different sides of the same coin.

DB is about saving yourself first. The WAS just got a jump on it.