Tris, *please* don't take this the wrong way; I'm *thrilled* that your session went so well and hope for only the best for both of you. Don't mean to harsh your buzz.
But. If I am correct in understanding that she has *already* stopped her meds cold turkey, instead of stepping them down gradually as per medical instruction, being 'under the supervision' of a psych is about as much good as having an EMT *stand there* while she dances around in a thunderstorm in a chainmail bikini, holding a lightning rod.
I'm not trying to freak you out. But, IMHO, DO NOT minimalize this, even to yourself.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Tris, *please* don't take this the wrong way; I'm *thrilled* that your session went so well and hope for only the best for both of you. Don't mean to harsh your buzz.
But. If I am correct in understanding that she has *already* stopped her meds cold turkey, instead of stepping them down gradually as per medical instruction, being 'under the supervision' of a psych is about as much good as having an EMT *stand there* while she dances around in a thunderstorm in a chainmail bikini, holding a lightning rod.
I'm not trying to freak you out. But, IMHO, DO NOT minimalize this, even to yourself.
Beyond saying I think it is a bad idea, what should I do? I thought about calling the psych and letting him know, but he can't do anything before he sees her either. I will probably ask her if she minds if I go with her to see the psych.
By the way, I talked about this with my IC yesterday and he didn't have a whole lot of good ideas either. If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do about it, please let me know.
Kett. I do not take any advice people offer here the *wrong* way. I appreciate it all. I especially appreciate the experienced advice that you bring.
But I am not sure how to handle this one. I do not want to banter her with it day in and day out. As of now, I can't even point to any negative behaviors, moods, etc. Mentally, she seems to be in as good of a place as she has been in quite some time. I know 2 weeks is long enough to see the full effect of going cold-turkey; but I would have thought I would have noticed something by now. She was very depressed coming back from Arizona, but she has bounced back from that rather quickly.
There's not a lot you can do about it, beyond letting her psych know, which I don't think is out of line under the circs.
I guess I was responding to a certain tone of justification/rationalization on your part ... "she did fine up 'till now .... it doesn't really sound like that bad of an idea ...." (I paraphrase). This IS a bad idea. Going off cold turkey is a TERRIBLE idea, regardless of her status before.
All you can do, really, is be watchful. Not paranoid, but *objectively* watchful. Educate yourself about the possible ramifications of her choice, don't rely on what we say. In order to pull that off, you can't allow *yourself* to slip into enabler mode. IMHO.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
there's a form you can get her to sign which would allow you to discuss her with her psychiatrist. it's called a HIPAA release form. if she won't sign it, you can still give him information, but he can't talk to you. if he won't get on the phone with you, you can send him a certified letter with your concerns. he needs to be informed she's gone off her meds.
what meds is she on? ADs don't usually cause weight gain. it's the mood stabilizers prescribed for BP that do (lithium, depakote/valproate, etc.). anti psychotics do this too, but she's probably not taking one of those.
you have some leverage here. you could make it a condition of reconciliation that she sign the HIPAA form and allow you to participate in her mental health decisions.
good luck.
me 30 WAW 30 M 8 yrs T 9.5 yrs
3 cats 9,6,6
W left 5/31/09 W stopped most contact 06/26/09 W filed 7/22/09 (haven't been served)
She has not signed the HIPAA agreement, but I have talked to the psych without her knowledge in the past. I did not feel good about that last time and now I really want to make sure their is trust between us, so I would like to be very forthright with what I do.
She is on Celexa and Abilify; both cite weight gain as potential side-effects.
I normally don't remember my dreams, but I remembered one I had last night:
I am in my childhood home as a grown man. I open my parent's bedroom closet door. Standing their is OM, but he does not see me. I close the door and calmly walk down to the basement where I grab an antique rifle out of the my father's gun cabinet. I continue to walk around the empty house with the rifle. After some time, I go back to the closet and open the door; this time pointing the rifle. OM is still there, this time he sees me. I point the rifle at him. He walks toward me, growing larger with each step. He is a couple of feet taller than I by the time he reaches the tip of the barrel. I drop the gun and we stand there staring into each others eyes. I point to the door and he leaves.
Just as OM exits the door W pulls up in an old rusty hatchback that I don't recognize. She runs in the house and back out with the girls. Throws them into the back of the car and takes off. driving crazily down the road with girls unbuckled in the back. I chase them to the edge of the lawn, but stop at the street. I just stand in the lawn watching them go.
So my W brought up OM for first time (other than MC session) since she told me he was out of her life. I guess he sent her a long e-mail today with the subject line "I hate you". She said she deleted her e-mail and also the 3 voicemails he has left her today before listening to them. She has told her agency that she does not want to see him and gave the department that would have contact with him to one of her staff.
She says that he is stalking her and she wants nothing to do with him. I am sorry that she has to put up with this, but also happy she feels comfortable in opening up and sharing it with me. I really feel like confronting this guy; but still probably not a good idea.
