- Kids are resilient - it will be hard on them but they will adjust.
Welcome. Love these quotes. Specially how to change my feelings. I'd tell you but you wouldn't listen to me anyway. After all I haven't changed in 20-something years how would I be an expert on change.
Funny thing is this all sounds very logical to a WAS.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Gima, Your killing me! After having my W in my home for the past 4 hours I'm going to start using some of these. I'll start with I love you but I don't want you in my flipping house. Then follow up with things are just so much better when your not around. I mean the kids are more resilient and much happier. Maybe it would be best if you just went away.
How in the world do you guys live with a WAS. Never though I'd say this but, I'm glad she moved out. And it is her and not me:-) She hasn't changed a bit. Bet she would blame her foul mood on the house if I were to ask.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
If I didn't think that would absolutely descimate my S, I would be happier if she moved out. It's a head game every day. "Let's pretend everything is fine today...play house like a happy family." Followed by "I'm done and filing tomorrow." Followed by "Let's pretend like everything is fine," again.
She still cares enough about S to not have put it through it so far, but she's been working really hard to rationalize doing it anyway.
I don't question that she's been hurt. I just didn't know it at the time. She never told me and I didn't pick up on "signals."
There's another line from the script:
"I know I didn't TELL you what was wrong. I shouldn't have had to TELL you what was wrong!.. I made it obvious!!"
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Since our S, my STBXH has slid further down the road of alcoholism, depression, and self-destructive spending. Luckily, at this point, I don't have much contact with him. But in the first few months I got all the usual suspects.
"If we were meant to be together, I wouldn't have to TELL you, you'd know why I wasn't happy." (apparently I shouldn't have believed him when he told me it was school/work/money that was making him unhappy)
"We can always get a divorce and remarry later" (uh....yeah, that sounds great....not)
"I don't believe in D either, but it's the only way I can be happy" (in response to him screaming at me about why I wouldn't sign the dam D papers and me saying "I don't believe in D")
"I didn't mean for it to happen it just did" (the PA)
"I've been working on this for the last 2 years. I was trying to make things better by acting like nothing was wrong." (Well, ya had me fooled! Thanks for telling me there was a problem.)
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
