Does everyone agree that this dance is bullshit? It's almost like an elephant in the room that no one sees? Whe you are "in love" everything is right.... The elephant is out back in the barn... Why... when you're commited adults do I have to not call when I want to call just to get her to call when that's what I wanted in the first place???? It's INSANE!!!
Hey, man, no one ever said any of the situations here made sense. I know where you are coming from. But, the techniques are solutions to illogical and emotionally based behaviour.
You are dead nuts on Duly. It is BS. But it is what it is. You're calling is pursuing. Pursuing pushes. Pushing drives them further away. Are you reading DB or DR? If not, start. Another good one to pick up is Dr. Harley's "Surviving the Affair". Go out and GAL so calling is not on your mind. Go for a jog, get a membership to a gym. Shock
I respect each and every one of you... How could I not? My idea of a party... There's a theoretical party that says you can invite anyone to it... Some say Abe Lincoln or Jesus... I think I would invite some of you... Antlers, Coach, Puppy, etc... That would be a blast!!!
"This journey we are all on because of our spouses, may suck at first, however I am coming to the conclusion, it doesn't really suck so much if you look at it the right way...
If we can all find a way to box the pain, hurt, confusion etc... and refocus on ourselves earlier in the game, we would all be better off...
There have been things that have come out of this that I wouldn't trade for anything...I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness...I have learned to rely on my inner strength and faith...I have learned to not need anyone for anything because I am strong enough to do it on my own however if something comes up, I have learned to ask for help...I have learned to no longer fear the unknown - whatever it is, I will be just perfect...I have learned that there may be days where I am on the floor weeping with every fiber of my being but I will eventually get up and carry on...I have learned it is ok to be brokenhearted, angry, sad, hurt, confused, lonely etc...As long as you don't let those feelings/emotions take over you...I have met some wonderful people on this journey in real life as well as here and that alone is priceless"
I hope maybe some of this will help
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Thanks all... I am the ultimate pessimist.. (sp?) But I am in love... I told her the other morning.... I f8cked up... I wish I could go to prison and get out and have served my time... Okay... I could have done things better... BUT I f'ing didn't... That makes me angry... I am angry!
Oh.... 1 sec... She just texted me... "wanted you to know that I miss you... and thought of you often...
I prob just F'up... She said she missed me and I said I missed her too,, And her fire burns in my heart... What a douche! I could have stopped at I miss you too...
If we can all find a way to box the pain, hurt, confusion etc... and refocus on ourselves earlier in the game, we would all be better off...
But, a certain amount of time HAS to pass before one is able to do this! You are right, but the time required that I mentioned is different for everyone, and it is necessary. It's good and it's right. And most certainly, one does get to where one is capable of focusing on oneself...and one gets stronger and wiser and grows...IF one is dedicated to doing 'the work'.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
