trying hard to figure things out

[MichelleLT]

Haha.

I think it has more to do with him than you.

No worries. Take your time.

Still, nice to be asked!

[twistfigure]

well I was online the other day feeling pretty down and saw one of my brother's friends was online as well so I imed him and we hit it off. He's a 22 year old kid and we've been sending sexy texts back and forth for a few days. Not that it will go anywhere but it has boosted my confidence so much. I haven't felt this sexy and confident in years. My husband would never send sexy texts to me or do anything to add spice to our sex life. I was in the mood all the time and he never was so I always thought something was wrong with me. It makes me giddy every time my phone goes off. I don't want to jump into anything obviously but it is nice to have someone to help me "forget" for just a little while. I am scared of falling for someone immediately as a replacement for my husband and I'm scared of getting hurt....but for now I'm having fun. I haven't felt sexy in years and I have missed it.

[twistfigure]

The H refuses to contact me to discuss things. Since I left him a message telling him I know everything he has cut off all contact and will not respond to anything. I know he is at least reading my texts since I sent him one last night and told him he needs to go ahead and get his car insurance switched. My agent called me this morning to let me know he had called her per my "request". In some ways I am finished but in my heart I still want to work things out. How can we even attempt to work things out if he has cut contact. He's refusing to face this. Any hope here that he will come around? I know it's stupid but now that I know there's someone else I can't seem to stop contacting him. I know I need to but he's my best friend. I've always gone to him with everything and now I can't. I just want to hear it from him that he's finished or whatever he's thinking now.

[MichelleLT]

If you ask him right now, he will say he is finished.

If you want to work things out, you won't ask him.

You will stay dark, give him his space, and focus on you.

[luvless]

seems so grim twist but Michelle is right - it's the only thing you can do.

[twistfigure]

I know you're right I'm just scared to loose him. Maybe he's right I'm afraid to be alone but by his actions I guess he is too. I'm afraid he'll never contact me again.

[twistfigure]

That sounds so silly really reading it now...I've already lost him. I guess now the task is winning him back and figuring out if it's worth it to either of us to do so.

[MichelleLT]

If you contact him right now, he will sense that you are trying to get him back. It will push him further away. It will increase his guilt.

You have to get to a point of no expectations.

When you are ready, maybe put together an e-mail apologizing for how you reacted on IM. That's the first step to reestablishing contact. Without that, he won't have anything to say to you.

[soleil]

My advice is to stop texting him...

[twistfigure]

I haven't been online in a while but I wanted to let everyone know Sean has still not spoken to me and has filed for divorce.