Well.. it's been a busy time. My oldest turned 24. My daughter and I drove up the 90 minutes to join him and my other son for a birthday lunch. It was quite jovial and fun. While there my 19 year old son tells me that the previous evening a truck backed into him, pinning him between the bumper and a picket fence. He said his "No Zone" area is okay but the rest of that region is painful, seriously bruised, etc. Geez. He did get it checked out. My gene pool. Ugh.
The former spouse sent the kids a Christmas card that my daughter opened. It had their names, the printed blurb. He signed it with his wife's initial and his first name. "M & Bill (Dad!)"
No love, no note.. nothing. I have to remember that when I rant about what a dope I think he is that it's really me popping a zit of my own frustration. It's not about him; it's about what I can and do give the kids as their mother, their parent.
I'm busy cutting back on expenses, getting deals from the phone company (to keep my business), contacting every service and utility provider to see if there's a way I can pay less. I'm all proud that the electric bill was down to $140 (my electric provider is the most expensive in the country) for a house with 4100 square feet. I'm unplugging lamps I don't use; have the TV, VCR, receiver, Wii all plugged into a surge strip that I switch off when it's not in use. If I can find a way to turn it off, I do. Needless to say the kids were confused when the remotes didn't turn on the TV the first few times, but they caught on.
I also cringe right now when it comes to spending money. I'm deficit spending but figured my son's birthday was important and am setting limits on how much I'll spend at Christmas. I'll just do the best I can with what I have.
Oh yes.. and after having some of the best nachos ever, I somehow ripped the living daylights out of the roof of my mouth. I was in constant pain to the point where I fantasized about yanking a molar or two out to alleviate the agony and wondered what in the heck I did to myself. I'm happy to report that I've turned the corner and am no longer on a soft food diet. It hurt so much that I had to let the ice cream almost completely melt so it wouldn't irritate the roof of my mouth. Sheesh. Like I said.. one wacky gene pool.
I wonder sometimes if it would have made a difference if I would have been more assertive, challenged the former spouse with his departure.. but that's just water under the bridge. Doesn't matter. All I know is that I'm in a much better place now than I was last year, two years ago. Healing from the head injury took a while with a divorce thrown in and a father's death has caused quite a ride.
Each day I feel like I understand more what it's like to be on my own two feet, face crap I prefer to avoid. The next step is to join the world again.. mingle around people, be part of things rather than the happy-go-lucky hermit.
I also cringe right now when it comes to spending money. I'm deficit spending but figured my son's birthday was important and am setting limits on how much I'll spend at Christmas. I'll just do the best I can with what I have.
Man oh man do I hear you on this one! I'm not sure just yet how I'll pay for any of Christmas. Right now the money is coming out of what little savings I have. I have checked on a part time job and low and behold there are several retailers around here desperate for part time help. Hmmmm....
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I'm busy cutting back on expenses, getting deals from the phone company (to keep my business), contacting every service and utility provider to see if there's a way I can pay less. I'm all proud that the electric bill was down to $140 (my electric provider is the most expensive in the country) for a house with 4100 square feet. I'm unplugging lamps I don't use; have the TV, VCR, receiver, Wii all plugged into a surge strip that I switch off when it's not in use. If I can find a way to turn it off, I do.
I've been doing the same and I've slashed mine first month. Everything not in use is unplugged (most electronics use power when they're "off"), as you know. So, if I'm not using it, its unplugged and the only room in my house that ever has its light on is the one I'm in at the moment.
Call me crazy, but at this time of year, with my line of work( October til now), when I hear the weather report say it's going to be 55 degrees today I think. Great! Perfect!". So I'm keeping the house at 55 degrees right now. Use the wood stove downstairs to supplement occasionally.
When I get in the shower and it's too hot, I dial it back like most people. Well, "dialing it back" just adds cold water to the hot water that's still being heated to the original "too hot" temp. So, I've adjusted water heater down over trial and error until full blast hot (no cold added) is the perfect shower temp.
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
The next step is to join the world again.. mingle around people, be part of things rather than the happy-go-lucky hermit
My plan as well. First the D (Dec. 23) then finishing up FedEx & its long weeks and hours and then out of this contented, isolated shell. Have been looking into "Over 40" Cruises for Feb before season re-starts!
*hugs* to you, friend.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Geez.. you think I would have learned something through the divorce and flawed quarter century marriage. My mouth and tooth HURT and have for almost a week. Even if it feels a little better (then worse) doesn't mean I shouldn't have it checked out.
Address things up front rather than hiding behind excuses. Grrr.. It's not like I don't have insurance! Get thy head outta the sand, woman! I'm calling them this morning. Oh yes.. and G'Man.. the day before your divorce is final, I'm having a colonoscopy. Sharing this fact seemed like an act of solidarity.
Hey Donna.. I still have the rattie cage, that due to its placement ripped a favorite sweater of mine. Let's get it to your darlings.. SOON! I might even volunteer to be your first private lesson. Reiki anyone? *hugs*
Catfan... Yes.. get out in the work force even as part time... I'm so anxious. ugh.
G'Man.. I have the house set at 60 degrees and my daughter barely tolerates it. We huddle under Snuggies (surprisingly warm and comfy) swaddled in layers. I returned a day later after Thanksgiving. My son had been home alone at that time. When I walked on I commented on how toasty the house was. It was 62 degrees. I looked at him. "Aw, Ma.. it was ridiculously cold so I put up the heat and couldn't figure out how low it had been." It was pretty funny if you'd been there.
I coined the phrase "Stupid Cheap" for the former spouse. We'd go to buy something and he'd say no. Sometimes not buying it was dumb, like a failing water heater. It could end up being more money out the door if it broke, especially sense it was well over its expected endurance.
I'm in such a 'don't spend money' mode I have to remember not to be 'stupid cheap'. It's like the couple whose company I enjoyed. The wife has survived three years since being diagnosed with brain cancer (which killed Ted Kennedy within a year, as it does most patients). I hoped to develop a social friendship. When it didn't occur, an astute friend said.. "Kathleen, but she's dying." That perspective caused me to respect the situation. Now I'm thinking.. Everyone is die-ing.. I want to be live-ing.
Ahhh.. the dentist agreed with my theory.. that super hot, crunchy nachos shredded the roof of my mouth cutting it to the bone. It will take another 10 days to two weeks for it to heal up. Oh yes.. one of my better escapades. However, no abscess or anything else.. just pure 'how did I do that' disbelief. Yum yum.. soft diet for me.
*hugs*
But I do feel GREAT that I'm addressing things. What a relief to face things rather than carry the fear and indecisiveness around.
