From out of nowhere I just had the most amazing conversation with my ex wife. We spoke about so much. It's still sort of swirling around in my head so to speak.
I spoke to the woman I remember today. There is so much I want to share, but right now I am still trying to take it all in. I listened while she opened up and let my guard down a bit too.
She admitted to having an eating disorder, she admitted to being "sick in other ways too." She said she has been in counseling for the past two months and she had no idea how sick she was.
We talked about our relationship, our families, I found out that she is going to church. I was real about everything. I asked her if she remembers me trying to get her to do these things last year. She said yes. I told her I hope you understand that I realize that I made mistakes in the ways that I went about it, but I did my best to try to help her. She softly said yes.
We talked about so much more.
She didn't in any way express the desire to get back together, but on three occasions she reassured me that she is not in a serious relationship, she is no where near ready for that and that the person she is seeing will be leaving overseas for 14 months. She kept saying that her and this guy were only friends and that it never overlapped the time we were married. She said something, but the way she worded it was strange. Something like the OM saying that if things didn't work out between them that he wants us to be together. Thats not the way she said it, but it was something to that affect.....it was weird.
She even at one point spoke about what a jerk the first guy she was in an emotional affair with was. He is still pursuing her. She went on to say how wrong she was and that she "owns every bit of that."
I guess I am starting this thread because I know I am going to need your support.I have no idea where I am right now. I'm sure in the next few days I will have a handle on things, but right now I am trying to keep my perspective the best I can, and I'll be honest with you, at the moment it is exteremly difficult.
wow they sometimes come up for air hopefully your W is beginning to work on herself still seems like it will take a lot of time and patience on your part to see if it leads to R you did well to listen and give her the space and time to open up sometimes I also see opportunities for honesty and sometimes it takes more than I have at the moment with my X you did well peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
The good thing about this is that she will be a lot easier to coparent with.
It is kind of like a get out of jail free card. It releases some of your questions like "what the hell did I do wrong in my marriage?". I got the same thing in the form of a letter and then her asking for another chance.
I cant really give advice on what you should do or think. It is different with every person. You will figure it out in time.
She said she wasn't in a hurry to get her name off of the mortgage after she asked how that was going. Her words were. "it's not a big deal."
She asked about specific family members and how they were.
She told me she wants to be friends and be able to talk openly to each other. She said she no longer liked emailing back and forth and suggested we talk on the phone every week or two. She said that would be great for the kids.
She also said she thinks I am still angry and she feels very hurt that I think she is a bad mother. I need to work on this, I have been distant and cold these past few months.
She said counseling has helped her a lot and that she is now back to her normal weight. I joked and said yeah me too. I told her I was in counseling for a while also.
I apologize....this is all coming back in spurts. I'm sure there will be more.
I told her that I was proud of her for going to counceling and to hear her say what she said. I was honest with her. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I said I have mixed feelings about hearing this now.
Her words were "everything happens for a reason and that reason has an exact time when it is supposed to happen."
