K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Kevin, I would imagine she just wants to make sure you have your sh!t together about a place to live since her children live with you half the time.

I have a place to live that I can renew this month. I just haven't decided if I want to stay in the current apartment or move to one that I found that I like much better.

Kevin

[breakaway]

Okay, well my point was that was probably why she keeps asking you, since you were wondering about it.

[Startingover2]

Go to the store and 2 pages down! Wow!

Kevin...we are needy. We are overanalyzing. I hope you find it nice to have someone in your same boat! LOL Its not easy to not think about every word, especially when you would like to see some positive in your situation.

[K4D]

Tonight I had to work late. This had been prescheduled with my W so she knew she would have to girls until I got off. Normally when this happens, she keeps them at her place until I get off work and swing by and get them.

Not tonight.

W: What's it looking like? I am taking the girls to your place.
K4D: I have no idea.
K4D: Did they eat?
D12: Mom is driving. We are picking up food on the way to the apartment.
K4D: I was going to stop by and get the tree
W: Not tonight. Friends coming over. You can't expect me to stop making plans when I get a "no idea" on what time you will pick up the kids.
K4D: Understood
W: Plan on getting the tree tomorrow. If I'd known I'd have brought it.
K4D: Will do. Thanks.

When there were female friends over in the past, W had no problem with keeping the girls there until I got there. The Christmas tree is in the garage, so I wouldn't even have to bother anyone in the house.

You be the judge.

Kevin

[MrBond]

"You be the judge."

I think you are being the judge. You really don't know the circumstances. You're still having issues detaching.

Am I to assume you're still standing for your M?

[K4D]

I think you are being the judge. You really don't know the circumstances. You're still having issues detaching.

I have judged the situation. I have no reason to doubt my judgement either based off past experience. Stuck, it always hurts to think of someone else being with my W especially in a physical way. It is hard to completely 100% detach from that so that it never affects me again.

Am I to assume you're still standing for your M?

Yes. I am. Did I leave that stance for a while? Yes. But I have returned to it. And I was never physical with my brief stray. It was purely emotion for a temporary period of time.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=K4D]Tonight I had to work late. This had been prescheduled with my W so she knew she would have to girls until I got off. Normally when this happens, she keeps them at her place until I get off work and swing by and get them.

Not tonight.

W: What's it looking like? I am taking the girls to your place.
K4D: I have no idea.
K4D: Did they eat?
D12: Mom is driving. We are picking up food on the way to the apartment.
K4D: I was going to stop by and get the tree
W: Not tonight. Friends coming over. You can't expect me to stop making plans when I get a "no idea" on what time you will pick up the kids.
K4D: Understood
W: Plan on getting the tree tomorrow. If I'd known I'd have brought it.
K4D: Will do. Thanks.

When there were female friends over in the past, W had no problem with keeping the girls there until I got there. The Christmas tree is in the garage, so I wouldn't even have to bother anyone in the house.

So what??!

You be the judge.

No thanks,
You already are the judge, and you already forgot the lesson we thought you learned about your harsh assessments of dating OP earlier and here a month later (or less) you still do the same fri00000 thing again! You make the same mistakes over and over again.

DETACH AND STOP GIVING A S@#$ about why she tells you something she has every right to tell you. She had the girls later than usual AND you gave her NO timeline for your arrival...(wth? SO you could get them at 4 am and she better be fine with that??)) you have nothing to complain about - let alone "judge"...

[color:#CC0000]Sigh--Come on K4...plan a happy holiday for your girls that does NOT depend on your w or how she and her family treat you...

Please dear God do that for your d's sake if not yours, and move on... You definitely confuse "Standing" with standing still....or praying and fasting...and NOT getting tools for life and love.
You have some reading and reflecting to do. It's all here already...has been for awhile.
j-

[Startingover2]

Somehow, some way you (and I :)) are going to have to learn to not read too much into simple statements. I feel you on this. I hate the thought of exh being physical with anyone too and it drives me crazy. But for us to be attractive we need to act like we don't give a crap and need to believe it!

I am in your corner Kevin! You can do this!

[Steve McQueen]

You be the judge.

Kevin

My Best Judge Judy impression:

So what! You're still talking about the fish that got away. You know why it got away? Because you were drinking too much beer in the boat and forgot to watch the line. Now you can keep talking about how big it was and give it names like 'Big Martha' or you can get back in the boat and learn to how bait. Byrd here is a master baiter and you dont hear him complaining.

[K4D]

25 and SO2,

I didn't know what time I would be able to get off. It wasn't up to me. I was waiting on my bosses to say that it was ok for me to leave as we were pusing another deadline for changes last night and I could not leave until they had approved of everything. So my answer was honest.

Certainly W can tell me whatever she wants. I would rather her be up front. It has really become a game of I will pretend I don't know she is with someone and she will pretend she isn't. It is so ridiculous.

And I don't act like I give a crap in front of her. Again, I pretend I don't know. She pretends I don't know. Together we both pretend we don't know what we know.

Kevin