I think lots of us make tactical changes as 180's to appeal to our current spouses - to try to bring them back. Change the way you dress, cut your hair, be more romantic, be more aggressive, etc. Correct, in that these are things which, if they don't work, can be discarded or changed for a future partner. They are not part of our core.
Or not. Maybe these were things that needed to be done anyway. Nobody's watching or cares now but O'Dog needed to refine his game so those changes are still in effect.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Install a Porta-Potty on the property (never indoors!)
Just remember, only a decade ago where couples fighting over leaving the toothpaste with the cap on versus off.
Evolve, change with the times. Eventually the root of the problem surfaces... "I'm not worth your time." versus "Stop telling me what to do."
Men love gadgets. Install this 'toy' and give your guy many happy flushes.
*hugs*
I know a guy who put a urinal in his man-room bathroom.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Yes, DB works, and it is your best bet to get things back on track. The phone coaching here is fantastic as well, so I recommend it heartily, if you can afford it. On second thought, given what's at stake, how can you not afford it?
But I will say this at the risk of getting reprimanded by the moderators, because I don't really see it being mentioned here much.
A man must be a man, for his woman. Crying, acting submissive, submitting to her every whim...those behaviours will make her lose respect for you. I know, I've done it myself and saw the result. Not good.
You can DB and still be a man. Show leadership, be decisive, and be consistent in your actions. You can still admit fault, and still do everything Michelle tells you to do in the book. But you can do it without sacrificing your masculinity. And this does NOT mean being a bully, always being 'right', or any of those ugly stereotypes we all know. There's a difference between being an alpha male and an alpha dog.
There is an author named David Cunningham who will tell you step-by-step how to do this. Google him, you won't regret it.
His principles work hand-in-hand with DB principles, and tell you how to trigger attraction in your partner, and more importantly, the things we all do to kill attraction. No attraction, no spark. No spark, eventually no marriage...if she doesn't leave you, you will end up just being her friend and shopping buddy.
His stuff has helped me just as much as DB has.
So guys...sack up and act like a man. No woman likes a crybaby.
Peace out!
and..
WOW, I can't believe it will soon be ONE YEAR since I started this thread.
The good news: We are still together, still totally in love, and everything is better than "back to normal".
The bad news: None
I am here to say - don't give up hope. Unless you are 100% sure there is no spark, no interest, and you have tried 'everything', including DB coaches, books, changing your behavior to be more authentic to you and your partner - then there is still a chance you can have the same results as my wife and I.
All the best to everyone!!
M
_________________________ Me: 51 Her: 47 M: 29yrs T: 31yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "we have lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Things are going GREAT!
I know a guy who put a urinal in his man-room bathroom.
... and that man is a KING!
It's one of those all the way to the floor old school models too. With a shelf to hold your drink above the handle. It's good to be the King.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
