Seems like I'm on the ascendance in the niceness stakes. Everyone is seeing me as Mr Nice Guy with a stupid W living with crappy "friend". Now she's getting the cold shoulder mainly because of living with said "friend".
What a load of cr@p. I'm NOT doing this to "win" a game!
Of course you aren't trying to "win" a game. But everyone has an opinion. They are entitled to their opinions and you CAN NOT shield your w from their opinions. This isn't about you being better or her being worse.
Perhaps you could refrain from heart to hearts with friends. I know you need support, I know you need your friends, but man 0h man you have to be selective what and with whom you share. People do take sides, but this is not between you, the W & your friends.
The only 2 people that know everything and every nuance is the two people in the relationship. We here will not tell you down the road that you shouldn't give her the time of day or to stop wasting your effort. People in real life will, because as friends they don't want you to hurt.
Keep a tighter lip, bud. Because if and when you restore your M, these same friends will still be in the picture presumably. How are they every going to accept her back in your life if they know everything?
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
PS - no books again - 14 days and counting. Wifey - sent the note (as above) with cable today. Hit me later.
No 2x4's from me. It was strickly business and polite. Take Care is appropriate.
Remember, I was the one that said no problem with a note if it met the above criteria.
Hope You Sleep Well!
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Understood. That is why you can not rescue her or defend her to your friends. People have a right to judge her actions. Right or wrong, they don't view what she decided in the best light.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Agree entirely. Going to be very difficult for me not to punch someone's lights out though.
She is still my W. And I want to stand up for her. I think I understand why this would be a bad idea though.
As a side thought - JJ posted in "communications" I think - the problem that he was, and I am, suffering. No contact. He got around it by the odd (not daily or even weekly) cute card. No x's. ILU's. Just cute cards. A smile from afar.
Would this be okay to think about?
I promise - nothing rash and not before it's given The Wifey Treatment.
Catch u later guys - off to a 1st birthday party. Well THAT'S new.
That was a belter of a first birthday party. Seeing the youngster with his first presents. Felt like a big kid myself
Mother is going to send a nice "thank you" to W for the present "we" bought. "Friend" may get pi$$ed off with this because she was of the opinion (whatever the heck that is worth) that the mum and dad were not suitable to be parents (see what I'm putting up with?).
And she's going to lay it on thick. She knows a manipulative opportunity. No prisoners. And NO I did NOT ask her to do this. Bring on the 2x4's people.
And an added bonus. Just been to buy dinner at local supermarket. Someone in a BIG 4x4 was waving me down. I nearly drove on but stopped. It was one of W's B's. So much for me thinking that they had said "pi$$ off Mac". I thought they would if W told them I wasn't supporting her financially. Instead had a long normal chat. Big relief. Why was he there? To buy fish food (at 8:30 in the night). A man after my own heart.
And I bucked up the courage to call other BIL to ask if he'd got the TV for use by son. Said yes. And thank you. His S is over the moon now that he can watch his cartoons. And as another bonus - the rest of the family gets to watch TV as well
I told them that we're having a quiet(er) night tomorrow with just a few friends and they were most welcome to come around. BIL (1) said maybe not tomorrow but they would make a plan for the weekend. Mac is a happy chappie!
So - lots of big plus's. Big relief. Weight off my shoulders. All these nasty thoughts percolating in my head gone. Poof!
Moral of the story - don't read things onto situations - you will most probably be wrong. And don't under any circumstances let them build up. Nail then as they come up.
Guys - this DB stuff really is SO counter intuitive. I actually think I see the results. OMG - me - seeing results?
Mac, glad to hear you sounding so positive and seeing some results of the work you've been doing.
I get a kick outta watching little kids at their parties too, you can see them getting all excited w the presents, even over the little stuff. just makes you smile.
Keep plugging away!
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
