Anyone have any idea on how I should approach the sitch with my kids? My boys are 3 and cant really talk on the phone and my daughter 6 hates talking on the phone as well.
Sadly when I had the chance I didnt give everything I should have for them. Over the past 4 months though they were my rock. I was spending so much time with them and really becoming involved.
I totally understand. The absolute worst part of being in this situation is having to leave your children. I will never forget the look on my DS4 face when WAH stayed at the house one night with him and I had to go to my mothers with DD11. There is no pain MORE excruciating. Sticking needles in my eyes would have been less painful.
Here is my 2cents. Your connection to your kids right now is imperative. You must remain in contact with them. No matter what happens in the M, you will always be there father. Not to mention, this is your connection to her right now. since she is going, you must focus on your parenting skills. It will be how she sees you changing. That is exactly what the DB coaches had me do when my WAH left in the beginning.
See if she is agreeable to scheduling visitation with the kids. Can you email her? Just ask for a schedule. No R talk. NO when are you coming home. Nothing but concern for your kids and when you are going to get to see them.
Your connection to your kids right now is imperative. You must remain in contact with them. No matter what happens in the M, you will always be there father. Not to mention, this is your connection to her right now. Since she is going, you must focus on your parenting skills. It will be how she sees you changing.
Nothing but concern for your kids and when you are going to get to see them.
This is such good advice...and so true!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Anyone have any idea on how I should approach the sitch with my kids? My boys are 3 and cant really talk on the phone and my daughter 6 hates talking on the phone as well.
Sadly when I had the chance I didnt give everything I should have for them. Over the past 4 months though they were my rock. I was spending so much time with them and really becoming involved.
It's never too late to start doing what's right. Love your kids, passionately. Have compassion for them. When you are with them, put forth the effort to not think about your spouse...let it be all about your kids. It IS all about your kids when you're with them.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thats my problem right now. My being with them right now is like 2 minutes on the phone. Anyone tried talking to 3 year old boys and a 6 year old girl on the phone? Not easy.
Well, I have spoken to a 4yo, does that count? I understand....
You have to communicate thru your WAW to arrange time with them but you should phone as well. Even if its just to say Goodnight and I love you each night. Schedules are VITAL to the children. Even in a intact home, kids do better with schedules. No time like the present to be the one to start the process off on the right foot. You will be the one that is seens as keeping there lives on track, even in the midst of madnees.
I had a daily schedule (after I got over the initial shock of the ILYBINILWY and I am leaving) for each kid. Oldest had soccer, afterschool activities, parent teacher meetings, sleep overs, parties etc. Youngest, daycare and parties. Be the one to keep track of it all, dr appt. included. You will be seen as the responsible one. Not to mention, it will look better on you if it comes to a D in the end. You be their stability!
