Hi since I am new to this please forgive any "style" omissions. try to make a long story short, my wife(attorney) told me she wasnt happy back in early april. while i knew we had issues in the marriage, the gravity of her remarks surprised me.
Since we have been in MC, i have tried to alleviate some of her complaints (ie helping out more around the house) but nothing is good enough. Her effort to work on the relationship has been minimal. i feel like a second class citizen around the house.
Meanwhile i noticed she ran up a substantial credit card bill for clothes. she likes to stay out late after work sometimes because "she likes being with friends"
The other night she came home at 1030pm w/o calling, i decided i was tired of being the doormat and went on offense. i told her it was over and now she could do whatever she wanted. the next am, i think she was shocked to see i was still upset. she asked me to speak about it in MC. that Saturday i went out w friends while she sulked at the gym.
In MC, i mentioned i was at the end of my rope...the therapist started explaining that she acted this way bec of her childhood etc..my wife stated that she wasnt attracted to me anymore and in fact had no sexual feelings...period. no sex since april
the therapist started talking about the need to break down walls. which makes me want to scream..i.e more $. more nonsense.
Basically we are on the brink. I love my wife but dont want to be treated like a fool and dont want to waste time if she isnt bothering to work...advice?
H-39-financial planner W-36-attorney S-4 D-1
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
trrose, I am a fin planner as well, how much of this current market do you control? The same goes for your wife. You only control your actions, thoughts and feelings. The DB techniques help you cope then get refocused (180s, goals, act as if, etc...) You sound stressed and angry. You won't get far until you. relax and start thinking. Exercise, prayer and venting all help you release stress. Keep posting, ask questions, and have a open mind. You can handle it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach, thank you. I appreciate the advice, Im confused becuase i dont know how to act...We are all scheduled to go to SC for two weeks in August...I dont know if I should go or not? Since there is a chunk of time we are staying with wife's family. I was thinking about flying down to be with the kids for a few days then coming back...what are your thoughts?
Last edited by trrose; 07/14/0902:28 PM.
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
All the DB techniques must be healthy and productive for you. So if you want to know how to act just asked yourself, "will this help me towards my goal?" What do you miss doing? - hobby, music, sports, exercise etc. What are your wifes love languages (5LLs)?
read up on boundaries and detachement
that's a start
You can handle it.
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
