Hello - I am new to this site. Can anyone offer guidance on involving/not involving family/mutual friends to help during separation? My husband and I have been separated 7 months - he wants to end things and I want to make this work. I don't have the greatest relationship w his family but desperately want someone to talk to him before he closes the door. I am interested in the Retrouvaille program but he seems like he's made his decision. Can anyone offer guidance? Thank you
That is a tough one. Think of it this way. If you have friends/family that generally like to work on things.. and I mean anything.. that career, marriage, child raising, their fitness levels, and own well being, etc. require hard work to keep up sometimes.. vs friends/family that like to have everything in life handed to them on a silver platter.. oh and if they like to throw the silver platter away for a "newer improved" silver platter avoid these types of people. Reach out to the ones that can appreciate hard work and a struggle from time to time.. have you gone for personal counseling btw?
i have found involing family/friends didnt go over well with w.it made her veryyyy angry. i still talk to her family but they dont let her know that,so me andher family are still close and i know they arent influcing her.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
Don't involve them. DB was so right in saying not to involve friends or family.
My W was P.O.'d and it took awhile for me to re-establish the trust. Plus everyone on her family sided with her even though they told me she was wrong and they were ashamed of her.
I notice that's how it is with most of the stories here. Don't do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thank you all for your replies! At one point my uncle called (who has developed relationship w him over the years) and he never called him back. My uncle doesn't live far and I wanted him to come and sit down and talk to us this weekend - to see if he could 'open' him up to counseling... but my uncle i think feels my husband is 'gone' already so i'm not sure if he'd help. He's also ignored my good friends - who were his too - friend requests. My husband is gone for 2 months this summer next week so I am very afraid if we don't talk now he'll become even more distant from me. He hasn't presented papers or pushed D but hinted at it and said it's over. We've been together 11 years, married 5, no kids (both age 32).
My goal now it to open him to attending Retrouvaille (through the church, it is a retreat weekend for separated couples on the verge of divorce). I don't know that he'd go under the purpose of saving marriage, but perhaps more to healing regardless of which way we go? The program is Sept so I feel like I need to mention this weekend (he already has materials on it but said 'what's the point if i've already made up my mind') as it's only a week after he gets back.
This is SO hard. I've read DR and totally backed off, but I feel like it's only making it easier for him to push me away/forget about me.
