Not much to update. didn't hear from W yesterday. Got off work last night and went out with some friends. I got a little intoxicated, lol. at 4am W calls. i was at home at this point and answered for some unknown reason. I prolly did sound a little agitated, i know i shouldn't have answered but it happened and my judgement was impaired.
Anyways, W asked why i was grouchy or something, and i said i'm not. she then said she'd talk to me later and hung up. i texted her back really? why did you even call?
W: Cause i wanted to talk to you but you're pissed off at something. Whatever. i'm going to bed. Night.
M: I'm not. if that's how you want to be thats fine tho.
W: That's not it baby. I'm going to go to bed though. i'm sorry. i'll call you tomorrow.
that's it.
then today, W texts me.
W: Sorry i didn't call you back last nite.
no response
Then later txts again.
W. You mad at me?
One hour later i text, "No, there's nothing wrong."
that was like 4 or 5 hours ago.
i'm trying to maintain a little contact with her so it doesn't fall apart on me like last week. but where's the middle ground? is there a middle ground? idk, i've had a long week and am just trying to enjoy my sunday.
i have been doing a bit of thinking about what everyone here has said about not trusting my emotions and such. you're all prolly right, however, i still find myself so angry at her, even when the thought of her pops into my mind. that may be what came through in my voice last nite when she called, idk. i'm just tired of this whole ordeal.
i have been trying hard to remain "neutral" to her visit on wednesday. it is just for me to see how i feel, regardless of what she might think it is or want it to be. maybe it's time to forgive her for all of this and move on from it. maybe then i can be more open to my feelings when she does show up.
well, W managed to f'n p^ss me off again. i know i'm not detached because what she does still bothers me SO MUCH.
W txtd me an hour ago asking if she could call, i said yes, but i'm getting ready to leave so it can't be too long.
she calls and says we might have to change plans for Wednesday. i said why's that, and she's home sick today so she'll have to make up a day this week. i said whatever, and she said she felt like i'm guilt tripping her. lol, i said no it's just that it is what it is and if you can't make it, that's fine. she then tried saying i don't care by saying that, and i had to stop her.
i said i do care, but that i've had alot on my mind lately and so much has been going on.
she started asking questions and i didn't have anything to tell her. i just said i don't what to think about things anymore and that i've just had a lot on my mind again.
she wanted me to talk to her, but i wasn't going to.
NOW, what i want to do is just tell her not to call or text me unless she has something to say in regards of working on things. everytime she calls it just puts me in a bad mood. i mean really bad. like angry bad.
There really isn't any advice that can be given at this point that hasn't ALREADY been given. My recommendation would be to go back and re-read what Gucci and Sandi have posted to you in the past, and IMPLEMENT it and STICK with it.
This passive-aggressive thing you've got going back and forth with your wife is damaging what's left of your love for each other, and it's definitely NOT working.
Do you know "why" she called at that time in the wee hours of the morning and then didn't have anything to say??? She used the excuse that you were mad and she'd call you later. Wow! Who wouldn't be angry at getting a unneccessary phone call at that time of morning? She is so immature it's pitiful! Josh, don't you see that she was checking in on you? And, just like a silly teenager, she turns that thing around everytime to try to make you look like the bad guy who is angry. Well....you SHOULD be angry!
Don't you see that she's wanting you to "beg" her to come over and see you? When you don't fall for that little pitch, then she goes on & on.......no wonder you are getting tired of it all. It's stupid and you're too old to be playing these high school games. I think you're getting turned off by her immaturity (at last).
When you are tired.....and especially when you've been drinking.....you judgment is impaired! The best thing is not to have any contact with her when you are in that condition. Oh, and the thing about her not coming Wednesday and making it another day......that was a little test there to see how you would react to that piece of news. No sweat.
I don't know that what you're feeling means that you are through and ready to move on. I think the "anger" is simply another stage that you have entered. Anger may help you to keep from getting suckered into some of her little traps. Be aware!
Maybe you should put your phone on voice mail and let that take care of her calls. I kind of like the idea of not talking to her until she's ready to work on the R. That might start her to thinking that playing these games won't work. Not that I think she's ready to stop playing....yet. But it makes a statement about "you" and how you feel about this silliness.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
